Against All Odds

Chapter Two - Walls

Chapter 2

Kandee's POV

I awoke to the pale rays of early morning sunlight streaming through my bedroom window; I greeted the new day just like any other - unwillingly.  Stretching, I yawned and pushed the plush covers off of me, groaning as the cold air rushed to surrounded my previously warm body. Grudgingly, I staggered to my feet before stumbling into my closet and grabbing a pair of white skinny jeans and a black and blue striped t-shirt. I changed into my clothes and stepped in front of my full length mirror; I was pretty, well average, and nothing too amazing. My long chocolate brown hair fell to my mid back, rippling with the slightest hint of flowing waviness, not enough to be considered curly but also not flat enough to been seen a straight.  I had a figure that was what many would probably perceive as average; skinny with some curves, nothing too extraordinary.  My piercing blue eyes were by far my most noticeable characteristic; they seemed to be just the right pop of color to contrast my dark hair. I however, thought that they made my already pale skin look even whiter and colorless then it already was.  Everyone told me that I looked just like my mother and that I had my fathers eyes.  I quickly turned away from the mirror, realizing that they were right.  

I walked into my bathroom and brushed my hair and teeth.  The purple rings below my eyes reminded as a reminder of last nights crying spree and my restless slumber.  Sighing, I pulled out my make up and began the tedious process of making myself presentable.  First I tackled the dark bags below me eyes, using concealer and foundation to make my complexion one uniform color.  Next, I highlighted my cheeks with a light rose colored blush, barely dusting my cheekbones with color.  After that, I addressed my eyes, adding a bronze eye shadow and a thick line of black eyeliner.  The final touch was a quick coat of dark glittery mascara.     

Noticing the time, I grabbed my back pack and jogged out the door, making sure to lock it before turning toward my car.  The fingers of my good hand were just wrapping around the handle to the driver side door when Matt's voice hit me, causing me to freeze.  " You honestly think you can drive with that thing?" He asked, a cocky smirk dancing upon his lips.  The same lips that had once kissed away the pain when I was hurt.  The same lips that had caused me so much pain in just the past few years.  I gritted my teeth and tried to repress the memories that had begun to assault my heart, blinking away the tears that had srung in my eyes.

" Well I don't have much of a choice, now do I?"  I snapped, a scowl twisting my lips.  Why was it that every time I finally found peace, Matt had to ruin it?  Could he not allow me one short period of relative peace and tranquility?  Must he always ruin a good day before it even had a chance to begin?

" Why don't you ask you mom to drive you? Oh that’s right she's dead." He retorted with a sinister glint in his emerald eyes.  I felt the breath leave my body as a strangled sob escaped my lips.  Tears began to stream down my cheeks and land on the pavement; little dark spots on a bright concrete sky.  Little slices ripped into gaping wounds as my heart broke and the fiery pain reignited within my soul.  He had gone too far this time and forgiveness was not an option.  The only option was shutting him out completely.  He could never hurt me anymore than he had just done.  But why give him the chance?  Who knows, he might just find a way to destroy me completely.

" You know what, it doesn't matter I’m just gonna stay home today." I mumbled, swiping away tears as they continued to fall, relentless in their steady decent.  My voice quivered and my legs shook as I tried to keep from falling apart.  I turned and stormed toward the door, desperate to escape the pain Matt had causes my tortured heart. Fighting the urge to scream, I fumbled with the door handle, too angry to even attempt unlocking it.  A groan passed my lips as I let my head drop against the door; silent sobs rumbling through my body as I fought to regain my composure.

"Wait! Kandee I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that!"  Matt cried out, his voice sounding pained.  But I knew I was mistaked because Matt would never feel any kind of remorse for the anguish he caused me.  In fact he relished every chance he got to make me miserable.

"Too late Matt! FAR TOO LATE!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face.  "I am tired of you and your stupid mouth! Just shut up and leave me alone!  At least you still have a mom! Sure you don't get to see your dad everyday!  At least he's still alive! Yeah you sure have it rough!" I bellowed, my words didn't even register in my brain before I said them.  With that said I sank to my knees and cried. He has some nerve to say things like that. At least he still had parents. Yeah his dad wasn't the greatest guy in the world but at least he is alive. I would do anything to get my parents back. I'd cherish every second I got to spend with them. I jumped when I felt some one wrap their arms around me.

"I'm so so sorry, Kandee." Matt whispered while hugging me. For the first time since I was six I actually believed him. It hurt to think that I haven't trusted a single thing he has said in the last eleven years, but despite the sincerity in his tone, I stopped myself from falling for it. This was all just an act, and believing it would only hurt me later. "I'm sorry for everything, for how I treated you; the things I said. Kandee, I am so sorry." He whispered still holding me. I knew he wasn't really sorry, he never was. He was trying to weasel his way into my heart.

But I wasn't going to let him in. I  had built up walls to protect my fragile heart, and he was not going to break them down. I had spent too long hiding behind a mask of fake smiles and forced laughs. I was happy like this or at least that's what I told myself. No one can leave you when you are alone. But then again, no one can love you either.

"Let. Me. Go. And. Leave. And don't ever come back!" I hissed through clenched teeth.  Disgust washing over me as I shoved him away.  This had been a low blow on his part and I wasn't really one for forgiveness anymore; so I didn't really car if I somehow hurt his feelings.  If I did, well then it sucks to him.