Intense (Harry Styles fanfic)

Chapter Twelve - Tearing me apart

Harry's POV

I knew by now that Lou had found out.

And as much as I wanted to see her, I couldn't face up to what I had done to her.
I couldn't bare to look into her deep blue eyes, filled with hurt and try to make her forgive me.
I was afraid that she wouldn't.
I couldn't risk never seeing her again.
I just couldn't.

And this annoyed me. I was desperate to see her, to hold her in my arms and to make everything okay again. 

I shut myself off from the world that I knew, I can't remember the last time I went back to my flat. Everyday I would walk around some random town as far away as possible from where I knew then drink into oblivion every night and wake up in the morning either in someone's flat or in a hotel room alone. This happened everyday for over 2 weeks. I tried to forget everything I'd done to hurt her because trying to deal with the guilt everyday was slowly eating away at me and I couldn't stand it. By getting drunk and not remember what had happened the night before, it seemed to help.

By know i'm sure people are beginning to worry.I had been missing band practice so Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn were probably wondering where I'd got to. It was unlike me to not return their calls. But I knew there would be nothing from her. I'm glad I didn't take my phone with me which would have confirmed which I already knew. She hated me.

I'd been wearing the same clothes for weeks. My top stained with alcohol and other things which I was not so sure what they were and my jeans ripped in various places. I knew that it was getting ridiculous now and heading home was probably the best idea, even if it was just to change clothes and grab some more money.I couldn't carry on like this. 

I ordered a taxi home back to my flat, realising that I was further away from where I imagined after spending £40 on the fare alone. After arriving home, I went straight for the shower, leaving my phone on charge while I had the only decent shower in weeks. I came out with just a towel around my waist as my phone flashed up again.

37 MISSED CALLS

Amongst the various calls from my friends, one name stuck out in particular. The one name I was dying to see. There at the top of the list. Lou. 

 As soon as I saw her name there infront of me in black and white, i knew i needed to see her. Knowing that she had tried to contact me gave me hope for forgiveness. I looked at the name more, realising that she had tried to contact me 5 minutes ago, just my luck, when I was in the shower. I grabbed a new tshirt from my drawer and pulled on a pair of grey tracksuit bottoms, taking my phone off charge and ran out of the house.

I ran to my car and throttled it as fast as possible without running the risk of endangering my life too much. I pulled up at her house in under 10 minutes which I don't even understand how it was possible to get there in such a short space of time. I quickly climbed down from my car, locking it with the key from over my shoulder before running, once again, to her front door. I knocked and knocked and knocked, showing how desperare I was to see her. Unfortunately,to my disappointment, her sister Emma answered the door. She shot me a look of disgust. No doubt Lou had told her what had happened between us.

'What the hell do you think you're doing around here? Want to make a move on me next?' She spat at me.
'Em, i know you hate me but I really need to see Lou-' I began.
'You stay away from her, stay away from her friends and stay away from us aswell' her voice deepened as she looked me straight in the eye. She turned to slam the door in my face before I put my foot out to stop her.
I banged my fist against the door, my voice also deepening.
'Tell me where Lou is' I hissed back at her.
'SHE'S OUT' Emma screamed at me, she clearly had enough of me and pushed me back away from the door and locked the door.

I knew exactly where she was. She didn't know it but it was where I first saw her. Me and my band had just performed at Mungo's when a group of attractive girls walked in. But only one of them caught my eye. She was no doubt the most beautiful girl I had ever seen, but she didn't know it. Her eyes sparkled as the stage lights reflected off of them. The way her whole face lit up when she smiled and when she slightly tips her head back when she laughs and claps her hands together. I wanted to talk to her so badly, but I got pulled away by the band and big group of people to another club. I couldn't believe my luck when I saw her again at her sister's party. 

I left the car and ran to Mungo's. The familiar sound of chart music thudding from inside the  popular club. I made my way inside, where I eventually spotted her friends at a table with a group of boys. My heart began to race as I strode towards the table, soon realising that she was nowhere to be seen. 

'Is Lou here?' I addressed the table. They all looked up and stared at me. One of the guys stod up, coming closer to me.
'The frigid bitch ran out earlier' he turned to his mates and laughed. Her friends were too busy crying and laughing to realise what the guys were saying.
'What' I spat at the guy 'What, did you just call her?' I began to get even closer to him, having a height advantage of him.
'You heard me, mate' The guy pushed at my chest causing me to stagger back slightly.
I was in a rage. I wanted to hurt this guy. I curled my hand into a fist. Then I remembered Lou was out there somewhere, on her own. I uncurled my first and hurried straight back out of the club.

I trawled up and down the streets trying to find her. She could be absolutely anywhere.  I turned into a dark alley, continuely trying to call her mobile, but no answer. In the distance I vaguely heard a cry. I hurried towards the sound, praying that it wouldn't be Lou. I sprinted round the tight bends of the alley, banging into fences as I ran. The sounds getting louder and louder. I turned the corner to see two men holding a defenceless young girl against the fence. That defenceless young girl was the girl I loved.