The Aftermath

Chapter twenty

Lucille fastened her corset as she viewed herself from the mirror before her; her extensive braided ebony hair cascaded over her shoulder. As Lucille was busy using her fingers behind her back to tie her turquoise corset together, her eyes met her own eyes in the mirror. The same light blue that matched Thomas'.

She knew she wasn't pretty – her mother and father had always told her that. Unlike Edith or Eunice who both had beautiful complexion and perfect smooth skin, Lucille had pale, scarred skin. Something she felt apprehensive about, especially when she exposed herself to Thomas for the first time. Granting he told her she looked stunning, Lucille knew the moment she saw Edith for the first time that Thomas was mesmerized by her. Why else did Thomas change his mind and choose Edith when they were both set on Eunice McMichael?

Lucille envied all of Thomas' wives; Pamela, Margaret, Enola – but the most Lucille envied was Edith. While the other wives adored Thomas, he never gave himself to them sexually. But Edith was different; after all she was "life" as Thomas described her. And what did that make Lucille?

Death?

Like the barren wasteland they called home, Thomas loathed it here while Lucille felt safe here. Over the years Lucille knew Thomas and she had grown apart but never physically – never.

Until Edith came along from the bustling city of Buffalo.

Lucille always reminded herself of a black moth that thrives on the dark and cold, they also lacked beauty – something Lucille lacked most. And Edith always reminded Lucille of a butterfly; the way she dresses and how black moths feed on butterflies; something Lucille anticipated on doing so, if Thomas hadn't had fallen for her delicate wings. Many times Lucille treat Edith like a butterfly, the way she would converse with her and the way sometimes she would stroke Edith's hair.

Lucille always stayed tucked away in the attic - it was her secluded room - the room where she keeps her butterfly and black moth collection and where she and Thomas met in secret. The reason Lucille has her butterflies and insects around her are because there's a security in companionship, she urgently wants to be held and share affection. Nevertheless the only way she feels she can be close with anyone is if she is in control, because there's an exposure in that.

No one else but Thomas understood her passion for insects, as a child Lucille always told Thomas about her new discoveries and how she saw a blue butterfly the day before Thomas left with their father on a hunting trip; and how Thomas didn't return back with father who had left him out and alone in the woods.

Lucille and Thomas used to meet in secret when the wives were around, only when they were gone or before they had left to find another did Lucille and Thomas share the master bedroom together. However, the attic was much more than a love nest to them – it was where they first made love to one another, and also shared their deepest fears to each other. In that little baroque room, Lucille and Thomas bared their love and sin to each other, physically and emotionally.

The attic was a mixture of red and golds, strangely romantic in a way when she decorated it herself. With dissected butterflies on the wall, and pieces of furniture she stole from the house. Many random rugs were placed on the crooked floorboards, there were bent ornaments Lucille thought precious and would hang up high for all to see. She had many chairs and desks, her favourite desk being the one where she would store away the wives mementos such as hair and several fingers. Her keys were placed near the cages she kept her butterflies in, and a magnifying glass to look closer at the details these insects possessed. Up high on the window sill were three jars that had dirty water inside which kept the several fingers she had of the wives inside to keep them fresh. Alongside the jars were her diaries – 8 years of her life she had kept inside. After she left the asylum, Thomas had decided for her to keep a record of everything she had suffered from and how she were to overcome it – and by doing that she wrote 8 diaries of her life. She would've carried on after Edith, if things had gone to plan.