To stay awake and unseen or sleep in oceans of blue

Chapter 10

A/N: I just really want to start this chapter by saying that suicide, self harm, depression, and any mental illnesses are not jokes. I'm not trying to glamorize them or anything because it drives me nuts when I see these things used as props in tv shows and movies. It's such a serious topic and it's something I've always wanted to talk about so I just so happen to be doing it through my novel, but I would never take this lightly and if anyone reading this ever needs to talk to me, please do. Please talk to someone. Don't make things end before they can even get better. I love you all.

Xo.

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"Jorel?" I hear Danny's voice again.

"Fuck, I don't know. I was too scared to check." I lean in close to her and notice the faintest breaths I've ever heard. "Oh, thank God. She's breathing, but barely." I take her in my arms and rush her into the hospital.

She's taken from me and we're all told to wait in the main room for an update. I try to tell them I'm her boyfriend but they don't let any of us go with them because we're not 'family'.

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About two hours later, a doctor named Nate comes out to finally talk to us.

"Well?" I ask as all six of us rush to our feet.

"We've stabalized Harley and we strongly believe she's going to be fine, but she definitely needs time to rest alone and to talk about further treatment and therapy when she's awake," he speaks clearly and calmly, but it seems like it makes no sense.

"My girlfriend just tried to kill herself and you're telling me I can't even see her yet?"

"Sir, she needs rest. She's just been through somehing extremely traumatic and stressful."

"Wow, no shit," I scoff and roll my eyes. "I need to see her. I don't care if she's asleep and can't talk, I just need to see her."

"Will all six of you be going in?"

"Do you guys mind if I go in alone?" I turn to look at them and they all nod in agreement. "No, it'd be just me. Please just let me see her."

"I really shouldn't-"

"I promise I won't do a thing to wake her up."

"Fine. It's extremely irregular and normally it'd be a solid no but honestly, I get why you want to. I can't imagine how hard that is on you. Go ahead, but be careful of her state."

"Thank you so much, man."

He tells me the room number and how to get there and I'm standing at the door in minutes. I take a deep, steadying breath and turn the handle as quietly as I can.

I see her laying in a bed and walk over, taking a seat in the chair next to her.

"I don't know what to say," I whisper as I take her hand in mine slowly, making sure not to wake her. "I mean, I know why you thought you should do this, but I thought I might have been enough. I knew something was wrong, and I still let you talk me into going. I'm sorry I didn't stay or get there earlier. I just need you to be ok." I lean in and kiss her hand as softly as I can. She stirs, but doesn't wake.

I look up and see that her purple hair is starting to fade, and her makeup-free eyes are shut so peacefully. I wish she was always this at ease, no worries or burdens. I can see that her already fair skin has paled to the point that it's almost like a ghost.