Dear Min Yoongi

Introduction- I Know I Rant Too Much

Dear Yoongi,

I've decided to start writing letters to you. I have several reasons why I think I'm doing this, but the one I feel is most reliable is probably the fact that the idea that I'm writing to someone I admire so much thrills me, even though I know you will never read this. It's still cool to do it because I feel I can at least tell my feelings to this paper.

The one thing that puts me just above being normal is my love for music. BTS is a huge part of that, but I do enjoy other types of music as well. Still, I've never had the excitement of waiting for a new album until BTS. I've never felt pain when an artist I love overworks themselves the way I'm sure you do. Somehow, your music grabbed me above all the rest. My love for music, I think that's the only thing that distinguishes me from others. Sure, I have my own background story but I don't feel comfortable enough writing about that yet. Feels too vulnerable for even me to see, I guess. Anyways, I love Bangtan's music, members, the memories you guys make that we get to see. I feel like you guys should have the opportunity to make more memories though. You're always so busy with music, Yoongi, I know you don't give yourself enough time to just be you.

I've seen quite a bit of sides from you. It's fascinating, each one. I've never wanted to know someone so much, to see up close what they look like when they smile. I've seen your passion, your anger, your friendliness, kindness, playfulness, etc. It's so strange to know that I feel like I relate to you in so many ways and yet you don't even know I exist. Yet you are part of my existence every day. Your smile literally brings me life sometimes haha. I love the way you laugh, how cocky you get, your beautiful Engrish, and if I ever see you say "infires" in person, I'll probably kiss you.

Haha. My creepy love for you is starting to come out. I'm not creepy, I promise. There is just so much I've learned from you, so much more I want to give ever since I discovered Bangtan. I've never felt a particular sort of devotion towards someone, unconditional and without fail. It's kind of scary at times, honestly. I mean, obviously, all the fan girls relate to my fainting every time you start rapping or doing something cute enough to give us all a heart attack. But you are definitely more than that.

I remember thinking "this guy is human too" when I watched AHL, and that butthole tutor Dante was making it hard for you guys in the store, when you and Jin had to get ready to prepare a meal for Coolio. Honestly, it pissed me off too, but a lot of other ARMYs were way more passionate about it than I was. ARMYs become seriously scary for you, Yoongi, haha. Anyways, when Jin had tried to get Dante to work with you guys, telling him that you guys are a team, he simply refused to participate and basically threw a miniature fit about the ideas you guys proposed. When you walked away, I knew it was because you were angry.

Is it weird I wanted to know if you did that because you were worried you were going to hit him? Were you just too tired to argue? I wondered how well you hide your frustration and how much more frustrating that should be to keep it hidden, to keep pleasing others and be considerate even when others don't make it easy. I respect you for that. I admire you for it. But you don't know this. I hope Jin was able to calm you down the way you needed to be. I hope he was able to hear your words. He is the mother of the group after all. ;) ha

All joking aside, I think you weren't just an idol to me at that point. Well, by the time I was watching AHL, I knew you guys were special to me. But honestly, my bias train was heading straight for Jungkook and V. Those little punks captured my heart so easily, and I swear to this day, they still do. Can you just tell Kookie to stop growing? And V, with his alien ways and beautiful rectangular smile. I think I'll write a letter to them too, but truthfully, I feel like you're the one I want to keep writing to. At least for awhile. Until my imagination fades. Until even I can't convince myself there's at least a little bit of a chance you might see this. Or somehow feel my appreciation.

I don't even know how ARMYs pick biases in the group. When they get it narrowed down to one, I'm seriously impressed. I'm lucky if I only like three of them that day. Sometimes, the whole crew has me messed up, on Instagram and Twitter, having a jolly old time. It's probably an obsession. Ok, I'm lying. It is an obsession. And I don't even wanna fight it.

Anyways, you probably don't want to hear all of this. Ah, but that's selfish of me to assume too. I don't actually know you personally. Which is strange to say since I feel like I know you. I don't know if that's naïve, but I don't think I care. I'll cherish this feeling because it's so rare for me to feel this way.

So this was sort of a long-winded intro to my letters to you. There's probably a rule somewhere in the "How to Write Letters" manual where you can't pass more than 500 words before someone gets bored, but I don't know if you like long or short letters. I wish I did. I wish Bangtan could hear me. But I'm sure the ARMYs they perform in front of, those lucky enough to see you guys, shout it from the top of their lungs for me. I'm sure they cry every tear just as well for you, and that they cherish you and let you know you are amazing. I'm sure their chants are as loud as mine would be if I ever got the privilege to be that close and to witness a performance that would shake my very soul.

Ah, I'm emotional now. But you're probably used to the fact that you make tons of girls emotional. But do you know, Yoongi? Your stage presence alone is powerful. And when you rap, if you were a color, you'd be red. Fiery, angry red, staining the room crimson, letting the flames from your mouth heat our skin and cause our veins to race with excitement. I know you're a rapper. But I also know you're a human when I hear your story and your voice. Dude, I could seriously praise you all day, but it's still sort of weird saying all this stuff in the first place. But you'll never see my face so it's not like it matters. I can say all the embarrassing things I want. Hah.

This is literally too much for the first letter. I'll try not to vomit so many words onto you next time.

For now, this is just an ARMY.