Dear Min Yoongi

Everything Reminds Me of You

Dear Min Yoongi,

I'm glad you guys are getting a break from all the promotions and performances you've been having to do. It must've been hard. Lately, I've seen posts on Instagram of how some fans are still sort of getting into the members' spaces, like Jungkook at KFC or Taehyung at the movies with his family. I really can't even find any anger with the fans for this; I'd much rather spend my time worrying about whether you guys are even enjoying your break. Sometimes, I wonder if fans are even a healthy thing for idols. We make you guys feel pressured because we put you on a pedestal that maybe you don't feel all that close to. We expect a lot so you work even harder. I can't imagine how stressful that is. And I can begin to understand what you meant when you said to that fan that your life might not actually be one.

I'm sorry, am I writing stuff that's too depressing? I don't like making situations sad, but I wonder whether fans can make it worse for their idols. We give support, but what other things do we cause? I'm just frustrated with the way some fans act, and I wonder if maybe I've unintentionally done the same. I just want you guys to feel like you don't have to push yourselves to a breaking point.

I was walking on campus today and I looked at the sky. Birds exactly like the one in your Run MV were flying by and I smiled because "man, everything makes me think of them". And I loved loving someone that much. But is our love poisonous for you guys? Do we break you down with all the pressure? I know you guys already have a strong work ethic and passion for music; I'm not saying that stress shouldn't come from trying to do the best you can with that. But when you worry about performances and whether the fans noticed your mistakes, or when you don't get to please all the fans, or just worrying about saying the wrong thing or doing things maybe some fans wouldn't like? I know you guys appreciate the support and love you receive, but when fans prevent you from getting the love and support you need from the time you spend with your family, I know that isn't love. We can be so selfish, can't we?

So if I've done this unintentionally, I apologize. Maybe because I'm sorry you felt like you had to answer the fan in that way. Maybe because some other fans will never apologize for what they do wrong.

Still, as a fan, I don't just want to apologize. I've really appreciated all the music and love you've offered us in return. I loved your comeback; my favorite songs---how could I even pick a favorite? Every song triggered something different inside me, and I loved experiencing those feelings. Butterfly and Dead Leaves were for the times it was windy and chilly outside, and maybe I was walking alone wishing someone was walking with me. Run was for lots of moments when I wanted to encourage myself, when I wanted to believe that it was ok to keep moving even if I didn't know what direction I was heading, even though it's still terrifying. Whalien 52 is something I related so well too, but I feel like you have to be really blessed not to relate at all. It was a universal song that, sure, it can make you giggle at the title but the meaning was buried deep inside my heart and it supported me when nothing else would. Baepsae made me head bang so hard I thought I would pass out, but it still told me that I didn't have to live up to anyone's expectations but mine. I loved you for that, Yoongi. I loved all of BTS for every single song and every word that told me it was ok to be who I wanted to. Don't even get me started on Ma City. Your rapping always gives me the chills, honestly. My heart feels like it's gonna explode whenever I even listen to you speak or act all cute. It's not fair, you know, to us fans either. You torture us with your bright, cute gummy smiles and your beautiful soft eyes. Your sassy attitude, your superior sense of being a hyung to the maknae line, your innate habit of being exceptionally lazy. And though, you sometimes have expressions where you seem unapproachable, you're actually a very warm and gentle person.

I hope you get a lot of sleep, Yoongi. And time to eat well and to just be. I hope you get the break you deserve. I hope you know how much some fans truly do support and wish you the best. BTS, fighting.

-Just an ARMY