Dear Min Yoongi

Voices And Secrets

Dear Min Yoongi,

I was watching Immortal Songs 2 today since I have no life on Saturdays. I watched the special with Michael Bolton, who I love by the way, and he was a guest on the show while the contestants sang his hit songs. They all did pretty amazing. Moon Myungjin and So Hyang gave me the most goosebumps though. Anyways, I hope your day is going well. I actually don't know if you ever have lazy days like I do. It must be hard to always be busy or working. I hope that's not the case for you. I hope you take a day to relax and just watch TV or do something the rest of us normally do. I don't know if I'm naïve for wanting you to have that leisure.

I feel like there are two parts of my life, BTS and school. When I'm done with classes, I walk to my apartment and get on Instagram or YouTube, seeing the new things to see. I really like watching other people react to your videos. It makes me feel proud that you're becoming more and more well-known even though I know this victory isn't due to anything I've done. It has always been you and BTS, working hard to produce and create music that always stuns us. I love when people freak out as much as I do when they see how talented you are, how shocked they get when they realize there is a whole other world of music they haven't touched, a whole other world in a different language. Technology can be a problem sometimes, but it allows us to experience other cultures, other sides of the world we didn't even know about. So maybe it's not all that bad.

It's really funny, but anyone who ever reacts to BTS usually gets tons of subscribers on YouTube before they know it. I'll find their channel and see that they have maybe 300 or 400 followers. And then they react to a couple BTS videos, and it shoots up quick. ARMYs are really coming together to recruit more of us, more to support you. It's really amazing.

Speaking of reacting to videos, I really get shocked every time Kookie drops another cover of a song. Just recently, he did a cover of Justin Bieber's song Nothing Like Us. I'm not a fan of his, so I'd never heard it before. But I think I love it a lot ever since I heard Kookie sing it.

I don't know if you analyze a voice as much as I do, I mean, I'm not a professional, but I think if you can sing, that's one thing. But if you can sing and thread emotion into your voice and cast it out at your audience, that's a whole other level. I feel like Jungkook is at this level. I hear it with every breath he takes, and how carefully he sings around the syllables in the words and the way his voice wavers softly at the most intimate parts of the song.

There are other singers I know that are on this level as well. Tae is a great example too; I mean, in AHL, Iris said his voice was soulful. It's a very delicate voice, I think, fragile and boundless, touching and heartbreaking. Jimin's voice is so sweet to me, angelic and soft, strikes you to the very core. It has an unbreakable passion. Jin, although I don't get many chances to hear his full potential, ever since I heard his cover of I Love You, he has seriously impressed me with his vocals. His voice is particularly unique to me with the way it sounds, I can't explain what that sound is like, but it is very beautiful. Aside from the vocal members who all have something invaluable to contribute, I know of other singers who can capture their audience just as well.

Anyways, this is a bunch of word vomit again, and I did this just to vent on a very boring day, where I literally sit on my bed, typing this. After this, I'll probably go back to watching a movie or going for a walk outside, even though it's kind of chilly.

You know, last night, I went to one of my friend's events and saw so many people I didn't know. I'm not an anxious person, but if I don't know you, I just don't know how to react. So I'll say hi, but anyone can feel the awkwardness emanating off of me, haha. My friend, I studied her (man, that sounds weird) and watched how easily she smiled and laughed with others. I felt sort of jealous, like an outsider watching others have fun, wondering why they can't be included. I don't make particularly strong efforts, but I wasn't blessed to be outgoing or bubbly. A lot of people at this school are though. Bubbly, I mean. It's a bit intimidating at times.

Do you still get intimidated, Min Yoongi? You look so confident on stage, like you know a secret I don't. Or does that secret come with a higher cost I can afford? Secrets aren't good after all. And it's not to offend, but I feel like you could hold secrets inside forever and no one would ever know. That is to say, if you allow anyone in. Well, I do like to think you confide your frustrations with the members, with your family. Do you have someone to confide in? Even though I say I can keep everything in, it will all boil over onto somebody that may not have had anything to do with it in the first place.

Even though we all like to believe we have it, self-control is one of the hardest things to accomplish. Do you know how easily we lose ourselves?

I do.

-Just an ARMY