My Jaded Sanity (Bdsm)

Constantly There.

I've never been emotional: I guess it's because I'm scared of attachment and being hurt, ever since I was little I've been different. When other kids went crying to their mummies because they'd fallen over I would get up and do it all over again just because I could.

That's exactly what I'm going to do now. Yes, it has shook me up and yes it was really dangerous but I want to know who these people are and why they did it and I will find out. Just because I can.

"Hay your up early, you okay", "yeah, am good, just getting ready for work" Flaure's face goes from kind to scary mother-ly. "Are you fucking serious, Perry you've just been raped" it's like she's treating it as some sort of disability; what she doesn't know is that her best friend is obsessed with bdsm. I internally laugh. "Seriously Flaure I'm fine, I just want to get on with it now" I sigh, "no, no you need to detox and relax, you don't need Alec Harwels stress orientated job first thing" she rubs her temples as if she works for him. "Listen, I need to take my mind off of it somehow, going to work is perfect, if it gets too much I'll come home early okay?" she sighs and lets out a defeated breath. "Fine, just look after yourself hun, okay?", "Definately" I say joyfully.

I have a quick shower and walk to my wardrobe; no idea whatsoever what to wear. I settle for: a black and white lace pencil skirt, black button blouse and red velvet platforms. I do my hair in beachy waves and my makeup light with lips matching my shoes.

I look in the mirror and all of a sudden: insecurity and self doubt floods my head. Do I look like a whore? Will anybody be able to tell what I did? No, I just need to brush it off; never have I self doubted myself before. This is.. Odd.

I check the time and see that I'm running late for work. Shit. I scramble down the stairs: throwing things in my bag till I get to the door. "Bye Flaure" I shout, "Good luck sweetie" and with that I'm out the door.

I head over to my red mustang; place my bag on the seat next to me and make my way to the office. Reaching a traffic light I see the familiar coffee shop with business assistants scurrying out with crates of coffee; in another thirty minuits that will be me.

I absent mindedly stare at the trees when suddenly the driver behind me beeps their horn, the light had changed about two minuits ago, I lol to my left and.. Blake. my eyes widen and my breathing becomes rapid. I step on the peddle and zoom ahead. No, no, no. I look behind me and, there's no one their, mot him anyway. I must be seeing things.

I get to the office and get into the elevator. I reach my floor and wa ll k over to my office. Just as I open the door, "Perry, hi how are you?" Alec come over and places a hand on my arm, "Good morning Mr Harwel" he smiles warmly "Flaure said that you've had a rough weekend, how you feeling" I'm going to kill her. "Oh I'm fine, she's just exaggerating, trust me" I put out a false smile; "If there is anything I can do tell me, I'm not just your boss I'm your friend" that's a bit weird, he's never come across as a 'friend' before. "I'm fine, do you want your coffee" I question in a professional tone, "Oh, your a star, when you get back we have the Woodley meeting, I'm buying that company" his ego exploits through his smile. "I thought Ryan Delle wasn't going to sell", he chuckles almost evily. "You should know by now dear, no isn't a valid answer in my world" and with that he strolls confidently into his office.

I've heard that before; Blake.