Infinite Fantasy [ON HOLD INDEFINITELY]

First Quest

Entering through the huge wooden gate, Gareth, Timothy and Chibu arrived in the town they had been heading towards. There were people everywhere; buying from the various stalls dotted around the main street, children playing, men arguing. It was a hubbub of noise and activity. Chibu told the boys that the bust little town was called Nerefield and that there was a stall here that sold Chibu Bars.

"Damn, that thing is determined!" Gareth grumbled.

"He's hungry," Timothy protested, "And he's our first party member so it's only fair that we welcome him with a gift!"

"What? A party member? How is that thing supposed to fight? Throw Chibu Bars at the enemy?"

"Moody-Pants silly duh-duh! Chibu no waste yummies on ickies!" Chibu laughed, trotting ahead.

"Glad to see you're starting to understand, though! Right... First thing's first; to the tavern!" Timothy exclaimed.

"Hang on! How do you know there is a tavern? And, even if there is, why are we going there? We're too young to drink!" Gareth scoffed.

"There's always a tavern," Timothy explained, "That's where adventurers gather and you can find quests. Quests earn you money and-"

"Monies get Chibu Bars!! Tavern this way!" Chibu shouted, heading off so the two friends could follow.

The bar was full to bursting with rowdy patrons, bulky barbarians, drunken old men, and scantily clad barmaids. Working through the crowd towards the bar, Gareth bumped into a rather large man. He was wearing what looked like a loincloth with metal plated armour, held together by leather straps, and showing a lot of skin. He turned to look down at Gareth.

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Gareth mumbled, "Can I just ask... Is that armour you're wearing supposed to actually protect you?"

"Huh?"

"That armour? There's nothing to it."

"Armour."

Gareth could see he was going to get nothing from this brainless hulk, so joined Timothy at the bar. Timothy told him that a farmer's wife had posted a notice on the quest board in search of someone to help fight off a gang of goblins terrorizing her fields. This was the perfect quest for a beginning party, he explained, as goblins were always the easiest monsters in RPGs; a typical first quest. Dumbfounded, Gareth just nodded in agreement.

The farm was just on the outskirts of the town and the three novice questers got there without any trouble. Knocking at the door, they could here a commotion behind the farmhouse and made their way around the back. An elderly woman was using a broom to beat at a strange green monster, dressed in leather and fur, gnawing on a crop.

"Get off, foul thing! Begone, I say! Shoo!"

The goblin just snarled and ignored her futile attack. Timothy ran towards the goblin, unsheathing his daggers. The goblin turned and dropped the crop, pulling an axe from its belt.

Timothy swung a dagger at the goblin, which was easily blocked, and Timothy fell to the ground. Gareth ran closer and pointed his staff at the monster. Nothing happened. He shook the staff a little, then aimed it again. Still nothing...

"You have to shout the spell!" Timothy called over, panicking slightly as the goblin was still advancing.

"But I don't know what spells I can do!" Gareth whined, "Stupid RPGs! Why can't I just fire-"

BOOM! A fireball shot from the staff and hit the goblin in the head. With hair aflame, the monster ran off.

"Woooooooah..." Gareth said in awe. Staring at his staff, he held out his hand in Timothy's general direction in order to help him up.

"Thanks, Gareth... Told you mages were cool!"

Yo yo yo!

Sooo, mages aren't so bad after all, eh? They're my favourite class in RPGs, and fire is by far the best element!

I'm a little annoyed as this story isn't really turning out to be much of a parody - I just pick up on all the things that make an RPG an RPG; all the generic and predictible things they all have, and play on them a little.

I wanted this to be waaay funnier than it is, but I'm just gonna go with it because I'm enjoying writing it!

Hope you lot are enjoying READING it!

xLx