I Could Never Leave Your Bed (Mike Fuentes)

Chapter 1

I woke up in a start, my chest heaving and heavy with the all too familiar pain of that day. I fought back the tears as I swung my legs over the bunk I was in and walked to the front lounge of the moving tour bus. This was my life, well, when I was running away. I spent each night in a different city with some of my best friends as their photographer. Yesterday night was one of those nights. I had hit my breaking point with a relationship I should never had entered, because I saw all the red flags, all the caution tape, and warning signs and I still ran in there. I called Jack crying, my best friend and the guitarist of Sleeping with Sirens. He already knew the drill, he picked me up and plopped me on this bus, giving me my camera and this job that they certainly did not need me to do. But that was Jack, he had been around me long enough to know my self destructive behavior, and he did everything in his power to be there for me even with the constant touring.

I started making some coffee. It was probably still too early but I wasn’t going to go back to sleep. See this is what Mike had made me, and I kept jumping into these nasty relationships because that’s what I felt I deserved. I loved Mike with all my heart. We grew up together, when my dad left and my mom became an abusive alcoholic, the Fuentes household became my new home, my safe haven. No matter how much I wanted to see Mike as a brother, in the same way I saw Vic, I couldn’t. I couldn’t deny the feelings I had for him. I knew how he was though, the ladies man. He broke every single girl’s heart, and I knew I shouldn’t get involved. But he took things slow with me, made me believe that he had feelings for me and ultimately I fell into his game. Then my dad came back saying he wanted to make things right. That was when Mike told me he loved me. He knew I would stay with him, but I was just a game to him. He took his opportunity and he left me broken.

“Couldn’t sleep?” the soft voice broke me out of my trace and I looked at those familiar blue eyes that held mine with concern, the same ones that found me all those years ago. He never gave up on me, probably because he could see himself in me, but the truth was Jack was never as broken as I was, as I still am.

“It’s just bad dream that’s all.” I told him as I walked over ruffling his jet black hair and giving him a sheepish smile.

“My bunk is always open, Sammy,” that nickname made me smile and hit me with nostalgia at the same time. It was a nickname that was reserved for those who truly mattered, not for the fake people in my life. Jack was one of the few people I allowed to call me that, others just called me Sam. “You know for the nights when you can’t sleep.”

“Thanks Jack,” I gave him a sad smile, “but I don’t think your girlfriend would be too happy about that.” It was a lie; his girlfriend loved me, hell she would gladly give up her spot next to Jack in the middle of the night if it meant it would help me. I know because it’s happened before. I was actually the one who brought them together, that’s probably why she doesn’t find me a threat, also its obvious Jack is head over heels in love with her so he would never do anything stupid no matter how many rumors there are out there that say the contrary.

“Stop,” he tells me giving me a look that I know means he’s being serious, “I’m here for you Sammy, just like when you first arrived with your dad, and when he died, everything. I’ve there with you through everything, and I’m going to be here with your for this, even though you won’t tell me what’s going on.”

I flinched a little at the mention of my father’s death. The reason he came back was because he wanted to right his wrongs, because he was dying. I had a whole year with him, and sometimes I thank Mike for doing what he did, because he died with a smile on his face knowing that he still had family that loved him.

“I don’t want to talk about it Jacky.” I say quickly. I never do, I have so many secrets and some Jack knows about and others he has no idea about.

“Okay.” He gives me a sad smile, and that’s why I love Jack so much. He doesn’t pry, he doesn’t ask questions, he just let’s me know that he is there, and he always is, ready to do whatever he can to help.

The bus comes to a slow stop and suddenly a wide smile spreads across Jack’s face. Before he can say anything I quickly grab my camera and jump on his back making Jack laugh as he runs off the bus with me clinging on to him. I can’t help but to laugh at the bewildered faces of the people standing in front of the bus, and I snap a few pics of their faces as well as one of me and jack. This is what we do at every venue it’s our tradition really. We scope the venue and take numerous pictures all the while I am clinging to Jack’s back.

This is my personal camera, only pictures I will see, with the exception of a few people. No one touches this camera except for Jack because I know that he can take care of it and he knows what it means to me. Others may see it as an old piece of junk, but it means everything to me. It’s the only thing I have left of my father.

This is when I’m most happy.  Spending this time taking pictures at the most random things, it’s when I feel most free most alive, when I’m able to genuinely smile, and that’s what I’m doing until my eyes land on something. They land on someone, and my smile disappears completely. I think Jack notices the change because he stops and puts me down and turns to look at my horrified expression.

“Sammy?” Jack asks and I see the person look over at the name their brown eyes widening as they lock with mine. “What’s wrong?” there’s so many things running through my head and my heart is about to explode because of how fast it is beating.

“You didn’t tell me Pierce the Veil was on this tour.” I say barely above a whisper, and suddenly I know that this time I won’t be able to run away so easily.