I Could Never Leave Your Bed (Mike Fuentes)

Chapter 13

“Are you sure you want to wait?” Jack asks me, and I let out a sigh, yet he ignores it and continues. “I think you should just leave today. It’s two days Sam; anything can happen in two days, like finding a reason to stay.”

“Jack,” I let out another sigh. “I’m leaving in two days. You wanted me to put a stop to it, I am, but I can’t leave if they know I’m leaving. They’ll convince me otherwise. It has to be in two days.”

“Are you sure you aren’t doing this because of him, because you think he still cares for you?” Jack’s words were like a slap to the face. Ever since I told him about the history behind me and Mike, he’s hated Mike. “He doesn’t Sammy. When are you going to understand that? If he cared for you, he would have stopped this a long time ago. Does he even care that you still cry yourself to sleep because of him? Sam, you’re still the same thing you were to him all those years ago, someone that he can use to get what he wants.”

“Thanks, Jack,” I heard my voice crack and I internally cursed at myself for letting him get to me. He was mad I understood that, but it still got to me, and as he heard the crack in his voice I saw the immediate regret, but that wasn’t enough for me, I wanted to hurt him so I said what I knew would do just that. “Thank you for saying what I’ve been telling myself every night.”

That talk kept replaying over and over in my head. I didn’t even bother to try today. Mike was gone when I came back to the hotel room, and I decided that I wasn’t going to go looking for him. Instead I spent the day sulking in the hotel room and watching movies to pass the time. It wasn’t until it got dark that I got the bright idea of drinking my sorrows away. The burn in my throat was a welcome feeling as was the dizziness that washed over me.

No one tried checking up on me so I was surprised when the door opened and a very drunk Mike stumbled in. I almost started panicking before I realized that we were sharing this room. I froze then seeing how utterly destroyed and lost he looked. I found myself walking over to him and intertwining my fingers in his, I tried ignoring the rush of static that shot up my arm when his fingers interlaced with mine so perfectly, but in the drunken state I was in that was impossible.

“You need some sleep Mike.” I said as I lead him to the bed effortlessly. He stopped me though as I reached the bed and he held on to my hand like it was the last time. My heart beat sped up. This wasn’t what he usually did. He only did this when she was watching not when we were alone.

“It’s over isn’t it?” his voice was so sullen it automatically made me turn and what I found made my heart break. Mike’s eyes were full of tears and all I could see was pure remorse, pure solace. “I heard what Jack told you about me, how I’m just using you. It’s not true.”

“Mike,” I pleaded with him, because in this state I would believe anything he said to me right now without a second guess, and he was drunk, he could be saying anything. “Come on, just get some rest.”

“No, Sammy.” He yelled and it held so much pain that all I wanted to do was to make that pain stop. “I want you to hear it, at least once. I care about you, and I was too selfish to put an end to this stupid thing. All I could think about was that I would get to kiss you and hold you for at least another day. I was too selfish to let you go again, because I loved you then and I let you go, and now I still love you and I won’t let you go again, not until you say it’s over.”

  I found myself staring at him as my brain struggled to process the words that he was saying to me. I knew he was getting closer I knew his lips would soon meet mine, but I couldn’t move. All it took was the taste of his lips to set my world on fire. I could tell he meant for it to be a simple peck, a goodbye kiss, he didn’t mean for it to lead to anything, but the feelings that came rushing forward because of that kiss could not be stopped.

It happened so fast, the change in the kiss; it went from an innocent kiss to one full of passion and lust. The moment I deepened the kiss and our tongues met was when all hell broke loose. Suddenly I was pressed against the bed with his body so close to mine. The contact of our flesh on each other was intoxicating. Our hands moved expertly to remove all traces of clothing, to remove anything that came between us. I’m not sure how we could have been any closer, yet I needed to be closer than we were now.

If there were any meaning of love at that moment this would have been it. The way our bodies moved in perfect harmony, the way our hands and lips knew exactly where to go, the gasps and ragged breathing, it was pure ecstasy.  In that moment I knew there was no denying the truth. I would never want anyone other than Mike.