michael: what the fuck, you bastard!
penguin boi: hello, sweetheart
michael: don't fucking sweetheart me you bloody dick sucking, lying ass fuck.
penguin boi: dick sucker, am i?
michael: you forgot that we were dating for a solid year until you cheated on me with that scumbag, ashton?
penguin boi: ohhh, yeah him. yeah we broke up like a week ago. well, he broke up with me.
michael: and you wonder why
penguin boi: so how was the hospital?
michael: that's why i'm here. how dare you lie to my boyfriend and say i tried to swallow glass?! wtf?
penguin boi: i want you back mikey bear
michael: that's not a way to get me to come back to you, luke or "penguin boi"
penguin boi: i love you
michael: i hate you and never want to talk to you again. and i don't want to hear that you talked to calum again because if you do i swear to fucking god i will shove my foot so far up your ass it'll come out of your mouth.
penguin boi: okay
