He gives your kid "the talk"
Requested
PS if any of these ideas have been used before I am so sorry I swear its not on purpose and just tell me and I'll give you credit xx
Louis-
"Louis not now I'm warning you."
"I have to talk to her. ANGIE!!"
"Dad what was so important you made me hang up the phone? I was talking to chad!" Your daughter Angie said obviously annoyed.
"Chad? What happened to tony?" You questioned.
"Tony's sweet and all but chad had a 6 pack!"
"Alright sit down!" Louis said to Angie and she sat next to him.
"So, I've realized you are kind of all about guys now." He said. And she looked confused.
"So we need to talk. About stuff."
"Okay?"
"You see when a man and a woman love each other very very much, they have uhh... They.. Make love?"
"Dad, I know what sex is."
"So you know not to do it." He said sternly.
"Ugh I'm not a slut!" She yelled and walked off leaving a startled Louis.
"Lou, Mother Nature called and said Angie isn't pregnant."
"You could've warned me!" He yelled.
"I tried!"
Harry- Harry and your son had just gotten back from playing football (soccer).
"Hey guys how'd it go?"
"Great mom! I got this girls number. She was fit." You son Dawson said and walked to his room.
"Harry are you insane he's only 14!" You yelled at your husband.
"Umm Liam lost his virginity at 14 and that kid is excited for a phone number!" He defended.
"You need to talk to him."
"Why?"
"Cause I don't want tiny feet running around this house." Harry grabbed your waist and kissed your neck.
"You sure babe?" He mumbled but you pushed him off and sent him upstairs. Not 10 minutes later Harry came back down and sat down placing you on his lap.
"That was fast." You stated.
"All I did was hand him some condoms and tell him if he ever got a girl pregnant I would make him watch out sex tape." You lightly hit him on his chest.
"Harry!" You froze for a minute, "wait we don't have a sex tape."
"Then I guess we have some work to do." Harry smiled at you.
Niall-
"Mom, what if he doesn't like me? What if I say something stupid!" Your daughter Maria panicked before her very first date.
"Umm honey, we need to talk." Niall said and Maria sat across from him.
"Yeah dad?"
"Well you see, you're becoming a woman now and well, when two people are in love they experience something... Special."
"Dad, I'm 13 I know what sex is." She said bluntly and the doorbell rang.
"Bye mom bye dad." She said and ran out. Niall looked at you.
"What the fuck? Who perverted our daughter?" You giggled and lightly kissed him.
Liam-
"Natalie, can I talk to you?" Liam said holding his daughters phone.
"Yeah dad?"
"Why are you sending inaccurate dirty texts to some boy named Michael?" She laughed and you stood in the kitchen sipping water.
"Dad, that wasn't me. It was Sasha."
"Well maybe we need to talk." He said sitting down along with your daughter.
"You see... Uhh... When... Umm... Two people... Uhh... No... The birds and... Umm.... You pull... Well"
"Dad? Are you Okay? You're sweating really bad." You had to stifle a laugh and you almost choked on your water.
"I'm fine I just uhhh.."
"You know what I'll call Sasha you go calm down and we'll talk later." She said walking away and as soon as she left you started cracking up.
"It's not funny! I'm not good at these things!!"
"Obviously!"
Zayn-
"So uhh, Lisa... We uhhh... Need to have a little chat."
"I can already see where this is going and I know I'm not going to like it." Your daughter said sitting down.
"Okay, so you're about 14 now and you may be wanting to... Do stuff. So I just wanted to explain uhh... When two people love each other very very much they umm they have... Sex. And it feels... Nice... But only if you do it... Right?"
"Dad, I know how to have sex."
"WHAT!?!"
"That sounded really bad, let me rephrase. I know what sex is. Uncle harry and uncle Louis told me. And for the record, you don't have to be in love... Ever heard of a one night stand?" She questioned then walked away leaving Zayn shocked.
-------------/------------------
What do you think?? Thanks so much for the comments and votes btw request I will definitely do them because the last two requests were soooo much fun to write : ) love you Lovebugs
-kaylee
