The Chronicles of Relationshits

Chapter One

"Way to go, Selena." Bubbling with excitement, I logged into the new dating app, "Love4you". Arghhhhh, this is an unusual name. But, I overheard Nicole talking to her posse that this is an, I quote- "Omg, mouth watering app". And I know when it comes to dating, Nicole is the real Know-it-all.

"Name?" Check.
"Age?" Check.
"Sex?" Check.
"Occupation?" Double check.
"Picture?" Uh, Is that necessary? Ofcourse it is, silly me. Check.
"Blah, blah, blah....? Check.
"Type of guy you want?" The real thing.

I peeked at my "Perfect guy list" and started typing on that column. Now coming to the point, why a list? Well, let me tell you. When I was in my freshman year, I had a nasty breakup. A really nasty one. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first second base partner, first everything including my first breakup. From the tears, heartbreaks and weeks of "icecream-couch-chicklit" stage to insults, glares and throwing tantrums, I decided I can't have a serious relationship with random guys. So, there has to be a list- My type of guy or to be precise a "perfect guy list" like my best friend Lyndsey had once said out of blue,

"You need to fall in love with a guy who has the potential to marry you.

Startled, I enquired, "But how will I know that?"

She smirked,"You need to set a type. The type of guy you want."

And that, Ladies and Gentlemen, changed my concept of relationship. I am glad though coz no one ever went through a second date according to my list. So, I was saved from potential heartbreaks. But years of real world dating assholes, gave me something to actually think. If there are hundreds of dating sites who can help me find my perfect man, why should I waste my energy on freaks? After all, I really needed a change of scene. Sweaty, tanned abs! Perfect!

"Aah, done!" I sighed. Creating an account can be such a hardwack job. So now, I have to just wait. Coz, sending request to someone from my side is a big no-no. "It wounds your ego, Selena." Mom would often use it when I tend to take the first turn. According to her, Boys should first ask you on date, Boys should first propose you, Boys should do this and that and Dad would taunt her with a husky voice, "Marissa, I regret asking you first. I could have ended up with my Nona's Therapist." Aah, there playful banter. I miss them so much.

"Why the fuck is no one sending me any request?" I shouted to noone in particular which took my pet cat, Lizzy by surprise. She popped her head from the duvet to mock my helpless self and quietly curled herself to a ball. She is so happy without a boyfriend, I thought. Alas, she isn't in her thirties like I am.After all, I don't want end up like Ms. Houston. Now in her Eightees, she spent her whole life petting cats or in other words, "Forever alone".

With the constant flow of humongous thoughts, I decided it's better to take a beauty nap. I dont want to look like a vagabond just came from being laid in a dumpster. Atleast, not when my sexual feelings have long been into hibernation. But, I have a strong feeling that this app would surely get me a perfect guy. Well, at least nearer to perfection.

It's high time for a Perfect Guy to come.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
Hey people, I really did my best to make it interesting. This is going to be a hell lot of adventure and I hope you guys give me company. Like it? Vote or comment. Hate it? Help me to do it better. Thank you for reading it!