Never Meant To Be (h.s)

20. Reasons Why

"You sure you weren't hallucinating, Soph?" 

"I thought I might have, but I've got his number saved on my phone."

Luke narrowed his eyes. "Show me." 

I sighed, but did as he asked. Luke simply gaped, and I grabbed my phone back. "Believe me, yet?" 

Luke leaned back on the sofa, running his fingers through his carefully-styled dark hair. He'd made an effort today dressing up too, ditching his plain tees for a slim-fit shirt. Freya, however, was staying with her parents over the weekend. 

"This could be a prank, for all I know," Luke mused. "That could be anybody's number."

"So, you're not going to believe me?" 

"It's not that I'm not going to believe you," he said, as if choosing his words carefully. "I just want to believe the truth, and for that, I need solid proof." 

"And what, in your opinion, is 'solid proof' in this case?" I queried. 

Luke thought for a moment, until he straightened up and an odd smile crept up onto his face. "Have you called him yet?" 

"No! Of course not." 

"Why not?" 

"Because . ." I didn't have an answer. 

"Just call him." 

"I can't call him," I said. "I don't even know if he's in the country." 

"Only one way to find out." Luke made a move for my phone, but I snatched it away. 

"I'm not calling him," I asserted. "He texted me after the interview, in the evening. But only some small talk. He hasn't talked to me since. If I call him, it'll seem obsessive or . . or as if I'm stalking him." 

"No, it won't," Luke countered. "It's been how long - three days now? He wants to be in touch. Why are you acting so strange about this?"

"Why are you pushing this?"

There was a pause, then Luke stood up, and walked across the coffee table to sit beside me. Grabbing my hand, he turned me to look into his intent gaze. "What is the real problem here, Sophie? I was just kidding about calling him. But I can tell this is a big deal for you. So explain it to me." 

"I-I'm not sure how to explain it." I let out a breath. "You know, Harry's naturally friendly. He's always wanted me around. But, back when I had to get over him, the only strategy I had was to push him away. When I met him, I thought there would be no problem having him back in my life. But my first instinct is to push him away again."

"Why?" Luke's voice was soft. 

"I don't know," I said, clutching his hands tight. "Maybe I'm worried about the change. About how he may have changed. I know he said he wants me around, and the Harry I knew five years ago did want us to be friends. But his life is so different now and I can't help but doubt his words. He has tons of people entertaining him at his command. He can be with anyone he wants. Can I really believe him when he says he wants to spend any time with me? Does he even have that kind of time?" 

I stopped my tirade, trying to control my wild thoughts at the same time. Luke wrapped his arm around me, bringing me closer to him. "Stop doubting everyone you meet, Sophie."

"I don't-"

"Yes, you do," Luke cut me off. "That's how you've thought of people all of last year. Everyone isn't the same. You don't doubt me, do you?"

"Of course not."

"Good. Then don't doubt Styles. He's the guy who had the honor of being your first love.