Contained by Love

Chapter 22 - Decisions, Decisions...

  The sun shone brightly through the window into Eli’s eyes, the same brown eyes that gave me butterflies. I smirk to myself, remembering the way I had felt about Ryan.

  We all had enough time to think about where we wanted to go next. I had already decided not to see Ryan, or Anna and Bea. They were just a memory now, and I knew I had to let them go. At first, I thought it would be hard for me, but I realize now that these people that have suffered next to me are the truest friends I could ever have.

  I was sitting with Eli in the cafeteria, which is where The Fishermen had set up a medical station. Turns out this place had a nurse’s office we never knew about. I grin as I imagine walking into the nurse’s office and asking a Fishermen, who happened to be wearing a nurse hat, for a bandage.

 But as it turns out, they weren’t all that bad once they stopped being Madame’s puppets. They were just a couple of confused guys trying to follow orders.

  I had already forgiven Tim and Bruce, the ones that had kidnapped me. The sincerity in their apologies was appalling, but I still forgave them nonetheless.

  “Well?” Eli interrupted my train of thoughts. I shook them out and realized I had no idea what he just asked me.

  “I’m sorry, what?” I asked, feeling dumb.

  Eli sighed, and my eyes trailed to John, who was getting his wounds cleaned by a girl named Bella, who wasn’t hurt as badly.

 “I said that right before Madame gassed us, I talked to John.” His name sounded so foreign on Eli’s lips that my eyes snap to his, registering what he had said.

  “A-about what?” I stuttered, nervous that I was obviously going to have to tell him everything that had happened between us.

 “He thought he was the reason for the fight we had.” Eli said slowly, watching my reaction. My eyebrows raise, and my nostrils flare. What the hell was wrong with John?

 “What happened between you two? What aren’t you telling me, Vi?” I close my eyes as he says my name.

 After a few moments of silence, I answer him.

“When Justin attacked me, John was the one who saved me. And then after the meeting we had in the dance room, John actually came to visit me. And…” I lower my gaze to the ground.

“And?” Eli prompted.

“And we kind of almost kissed.” I finish, afraid to see Eli’s reaction, even though I knew it was inevitable.

Eli’s jaw was square, but there was no anger in his eyes, which surprised me. His eyes were deep in thought, and I was guessing he was processing everything I said.

I internally smack myself. Great. He hates me. I had lost my old friends, my family, and some of my dignity, and now I was going to lose Eli.

“To be honest, I kind of don’t blame you.”

What?

Was he serious? I was so surprised I couldn’t even answer for a second.

“Are you kidding? I thought you’d be furious!” I exclaim, rubbing my temple.

“You know, at first I was. But then I realized that it’s sort of my fault.” Okay, now he seriously had to be joking. I was confused as ever.

There Eli goes again. I do something wrong and he finds a way to blame himself. God, why did he have to be so selfless?

“How is it your fault?” I ask.

“I should’ve come to you after the speech. I knew you must have been dying from worry and yet I didn’t comfort you or anything. And right before the escape plan started. You told me yourself you were upset I didn’t come to you. And I got angry.” His face is hard. “But when I was seconds from death and lying there on the floor, I felt you not giving up on me. You would have sat there for hours if someone hadn’t pulled you away and I never thanked you for that.”