So Not Happening

Chapter Seven

It's a strange world we live in. People say and do things so contrary to what we think they are going to do and say. It's unpredictable, with so many infinitely unpredictable moments.

Like now.

"You want to offer me a what?"

"A deal."

I reached for my bag to leave, but he held up a hand.

"Just hear me out first, geez," Henderson said, giving me an annoyed look.

I shoved my bag back. "Fine. Say what you want to say. It doesn't mean that I'm going to go along with whatever it is," I warned. Knowing him, he would get all the benefit from whatever this 'deal' was.

"Calm your tits, cinder-cookie," he said matter-of-factly.

I bristled.

"The deal is this: you pretend to be my fake/real girlfriend for about a month, long enough to make it believable, so I can get Isaac off my back; and in return," He held up a finger at my disbelieving face, raising his eyebrows. "I will do whatever you want me to for two months."

I was utterly speechless. What kinda hell deal was this? I was supposed to have my dignity lowered into a pit of horse crap while he got pretty much all the benefit, as predicted, after I swore I was never going to date him? What was I supposed to have him do for me exactly, rub my feet and give me a back massage? Although, that did sound really good, my devil side contemplated. No!

I finally managed to sputter out two words. "Excuse me?"

He threw his hands in the air angrily. "I thought you'd be happy!"

"Happy ?"

Henderson leaned across the table towards me, glaring. "Yes, happy. That little emotion that makes people joyful and content. Heard of it?"

I leaned closer as well. "I have no idea why in heavens name you would think that that would make me happy," I spat.

"And I don't get why you have to be so obstinant!"

We both glared at each other, our noses inches apart. Finally he gave in, sitting back in his chair.

"I thought maybe you wanted revenge or something," he sighed. "I don't know."

I frowned angrily. "You thought I wanted revenge?!" I stood up, completely enraged. "You are an idiot!" I screamed, drawing the attention of everyone else in the room.

His face was one of complete surprise, like the thought had never crossed his mind. Of course it hadn't. He was a selfish, self absorbed son of a bitch.

"Let's take this outside," I said, lowering my voice to a growl.

We grabbed our things and both stomped out into the parking lot. I whirled around to look at him. "Did you ever think that maybe I just wanted an apology, huh?" I hissed. "I don't want revenge. I want to move on." I poked a finger at his chest. "And you're not letting me!"

"I, I'm sorry," He stammered, looking like he had no idea what to do.

"No, you don't get to say you're sorry!" I yelled.

"You just said you wanted an apology!" He yelled back, confused and even more angry.

"That was not an apology!" I screamed again. He was so friggin' dense! Holy cow, I needed to get myself under control. I was shaking like a leaf.

"I don't get it!" He yelled back at me, slamming his hand into the side of the building.

"Well, call me when you figure it out, oh wise and all knowing one," I said mockingly, my voice full of bitterness. I turned to leave, taking a few steps before hearing his voice.

"Kelly, wait!" He called, running up to me and blocking my way. "What do I have to do to get you to do this?"

He was so selfish! What the hell was his problem? Couldn't he see that this had nothing to do with his stupid deal?

"What do I have to do to get it through your thick skull that I want to have nothing to do with you?" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I was so tired of fighting.

He was quiet for a minute, thinking. In that minute, I stared at his face, studying every detail. His kind mouth. Eyes that could light up in the most dazzling way, sparkling when he was excited about something. The little scar on his cheek from 4th grade when he fell off the monkey bars and I ran for the nurse. The way his light, dusty brown hair seemed like it could be the softest thing you could ever touch. If only he was a different person, and this story had gone another way. If only he had turned out to be the person I thought he was four years ago. This whole story could have had a different ending. Too bad fairytales weren't real.  

"How about this?" Henderson said finally in a persuading tone, totally ignoring the fact that I had just asked him to leave me alone. "You said you'd never date me because of 11 reasons, right?" He raised his eyebrows, questioning me, but not really wanting a reply. "So, if I can prove all of them wrong based on my actions, starting now, will you be my fake girlfriend for a month?"

I closed my eyes, thinking. I did not want to do this. I wanted him to leave me alone and never speak to me again. But it looked like I had two choices here. I could either accept his deal, or I could wait out the three months with him continuing to harass me in every way possible until he got his way.

"Okay." I opened my eyes to his now interested eyes. "You can try, and I mean try, to prove the list wrong. If you can't cross off every single thing to my satisfaction, I will NOT date you, and you will never talk to me again. Excepting number seven." I shook my head. "I don't want an apology from you if you don't know how to give one. Do we have an understanding?" I stared at him seriously. It wasn't like he'd actually be able to do it.

He nodded back at me with a serious face as well. "I can do that."

I highly doubted it, but at least watching him try would be interesting.

We started walking back towards his truck, our agreement for him to bring me home unspoken but still there. I really needed to get my car fixed but I didn't have the money right now.

"I have a question for you," I said after we had been driving in silence for about ten minutes.

He glanced at me from the driver's seat, one hand on the wheel. "What is it?"

He had big hands, I absentmindedly noticed. They looked a good two inches longer than mine. He'd be a good pianist. 

"Why do you want this so badly?"

"What do you mean?" He frowned as he slowed to a stop at a red light.

"I mean, you are like insanely relentless in getting me to do this," I said, confusion probably written all over my face. "Have you even considered just saying 'hey Isaac, this is bull! I'm not going to do this, so go grow some corn.'" I made my voice all deep, trying to imitate a guy.

"Go grow some corn? Really?" Henderson looked really amused.

I rolled my eyes, irritated. "Answer the question, please."

"I don't lose bets," He simply said, not looking at me.

I heaved a sigh of annoyance. "That's not even an answer! And have you ever even watched Anne of Green Gables? You can say no!"

"Anne of Green Gables was a dare, not a bet," He pointed out, smirking. 

He had watched the movies, the sucker. "It's the same thing!" I shouted, throwing my hands in the air.

He gave a short laugh. "Technically, no."

"Technically," I inserted quotation marks, "You can still say no to a bet."

"I don't say no to bets," He said again, but more firmly.

Oh? I smirked. "I bet you can't run this light without getting hit by another car."

Before I could take another breath, Henderson slammed on the gas, heading straight into the ongoing traffic intersection.