Remade

Chapter 24

"Dude where the hell have you been?"

I turn my head as I close the door to my room and raise my eyebrows at Alison. "Well that's no way to greet a friend. And what do you mean where have I been? You know I had work today." I plunk my leather bag onto the floor and slip my jacket off.

"Well we don't really see you anymore Bridge..." says Jo softly. "We don't talk anymore."

"Yeah. You never even told me the assignment you got," Alison adds. "And you ignore me when-" She shuts up as I open my eyes wide. Don't let Jo know about the nightmares, I beg silently. It would only make her worry, bless her sweet heart. "Um, you ignore me when I ask about your training sessions," Alison manages.

"Yeah so we decided to ambush you tonight with some essential girl time," Jo grins. I blink and take a look around the room. Cartons of Chinese food, blankets and pillows all over the floor, Jo's famous cookies, candy, and even a bottle of Scotch take up the room.

"What are you guys wearing?" I blurt out.

They look down at their embarrassing designed fuzzy pajamas. Joanne's are light blue with yellow ducks and Ali's are pink with green frogs on them. "Well you see..." Joanne starts. "We love sleepovers and you're not a huge fan-"

"So we decided to get these as a small fee for you ditching us," Ali finishes as she rummages through her shopping bag. "These, my friend, are yours." She tosses a soft lump wrapped in tissue paper. Oh crap. I slowly open my package, dreading the worst. Unicorns. Monkeys. Adorable little rats in hats. That would be the worst seeing as I hate them more than any other animal. They had become a living reminder of my past life. I slowly lift the wrapping paper and cringe. And then I give a little smile.

"Oh God. That's her 'I'm going to murder someone smile,'" Alison says, dramatically putting up her hands and backing away, her lame bunny slippers shuffling across the carpet.

"You hate them don't you?" Jo says warily.

I look up from the package at them and shake my head in disbelief. I take the shirt out revealing the red pajamas with gray dancing elephants all over them. "How the heck did you guys know???" I ask taking out the matching bottoms in surprise.

"Know what?" Jo says in alarming confusion.

"That I love elephants," I smile.

"I think she's high," Alison whispers to Jo as I pull my sweater over my head and put on the top.

"I'm not high I promise. When I was a kid I had this little elephant toy." Back at the Olson's place. "It was the only thing that stuck with me throughout my foster care years and I loved that thing to death and I lost track of it as the years went by," I say as I wriggle into the bottoms. Most of that isn't true. I did get an elephant at the Olson's. I did love it. I took it everywhere. It watched me bake with Marie. It sat in the basket of my bike as I learned to ride my bike with Ben. But I ditched it, threw it out my little 6 year old bedroom window as I packed because I thought I didn't deserve to have something to love. That toy, that animal became a sign of hope. Of love. And I lost that when I overheard their conversation. But in this moment, without them knowing what it means to me, my best friends handed me a gesture and it seemed like a sign. Maybe if I slept wearing the symbol of hope and I'd stop having nightmares. Maybe if I relaxed and just had fun with my girlfriends and kicked back, I'd feel better about everything else. My baggage might feel lighter.

"I'm sooooooooooo glad you liked them! You look really cute!" Joanne squeals.

"Definitely," Alison agrees.

"Thanks guys. Really. And I'm sorry I've been so distant." I plop down in the beanbag chair and start to French Braid my hair. "After this long catch up I promise we'll keep in touch more."