Fallen State

The Fall

He falls.

That's all John ever sees. The waving arms as the man in the black coat floats almost agonisingly down in front of him. It may be that he watches it in so much detail that's the most painful – or maybe the thing that creates the heaviest pain is that he can do nothing – absolutely nothing – at all to save him.

John inhaled sharply as he awoke once again to a dark room, heart hammering blood through his ears like a drum and the back of his neck coated in a cold sweat. As he realised the dream of this memory was just that, he sighed a slow breath. Somehow there was no relief to be found in this, just a dull ache. It was a long time since he'd last woken in tears but he had passed beyond that now, going into the realm of numbness and constant fatigue. He was getting over it. He told himself he was moving on and overcoming the demons day by day but it never seemed to get any easier. He just forgot for longer periods of time.

Nine months now. John's new routine was wake up. Breathe. Get out of bed. Relieve himself, brush teeth, make sense of the ingredients left in the fridge. End up eating cereal and lukewarm tea because the kettle's on the brink. Sit in armchair and avoid looking at the one opposite. Put the news on and ignore everything they say. Get dressed, try to look normal. Turn the TV off and go to the surgery.

It had taken a while for the Sherlock storm to pass. The media had practically camped outside, wanting the newest scoop on what the fraud was like to live with, why hadn't John noticed this sooner? Was John in on this? "Dr Watson – was there anything between the two of you? Why do you remain so devoted to this man? What next for you, Dr Watson?"

John had said all he'd needed to say on his blog and chose not to say anything more. Eventually they got bored and left him alone. Sherlock Holmes was put to bed and people lost interest. John was able to search for a new job. He'd tried out for a few places but hadn't got far. Then a tiny practice in Knightsbridge had an opening and apparently he'd been the perfect person.

He'd been there for three months and settled as best he could. Work took his mind off things and the people were pleasant enough. Yes, ok, it might not be as exciting as his previous job but he was still helping people. Couldn't sniff at that.

It seemed he was a hit at the Surgery as well. Though they knew his past with Sherlock Holmes he proved to be a valued practitioner not only with the staff but the patients. Women seemed to think he was an adorable, kind little puppy and the men believed him to be an honest man and a good soldier. There were the odd few who gave him funny looks now and again because of his association but Watson ignored it. On the rare occasion something was said about it, he kindly told them what to do with their opinion.

Alright, maybe not-so-kindly.

After seeing around twenty patients it was nearing the end of the day and his next patient was a new addition to the practice. John was reluctant to admit it but he enjoyed meeting the new people. He liked to notice things, try and get a feel of them before they'd even spoken. So far he wasn't sure how accurate he'd been. He was sure that noticing faded tea stains on their shirt meant they liked tea and didn't have very good washing powder, but that wasn't terribly informative and he felt he was more assuming than deducing. He preferred reading their files.

Miss Jane Willows was his last patient; 27, born in November, previous history of fainting and low blood pressure. In person she was brunette and quite attractive. Apparently that was all he was able to 'notice' at the moment. She was polite, anyway, as she nervously reached out to take his hand.

"Good afternoon," John smiled as best he could. "I'm Doctor Watson."

"Nice to meet you," said Miss Willows, returning his smile before settling down in the chair to the side of the desk as John got ready. He made a brief introduction, then asked what was ailing Miss Willows. Apparently her dizziness had returned. He took her blood pressure, pulse, checked her ears. The only other thing was her blood sugar and he explained this in detail.