Drive//L.H.

~25~

As soon as I got home I barged through my room desperately tearing everything apart in search of my car keys. I needed to get out of here, out of this town, out of this mindset. I finally find them in the pocket of Calum's jacket. I shake the thoughts off. I hurry down the stairs and ignore my mothers ignorant remarks as to where I'm going. It doesn't concern her and the reality of the truth is that deep down she doesn't care, not that I even have an answer to give her.

I start the car and back out of the driveway and head straight to the highway. It's where I feel at home. I look out and see all the bright lights from the city and I can't help but relate them to me. Each light stands for a thought running through my mind. Usually I drive in silence and focus on the nice cool breeze but with only having my thoughts as company I crank up the radio. An old song I don't really know comes on but I find myself tapping my fingers on the steering wheel and going a little faster.

I take the exit on to the deserted highway that no one uses thanks to the brand new one they just put in. It's great for me, not having to worry about the speed limit or a bunch of other drivers on the road. Given that even on the busy highway no one's really out considering it's nearing midnight and tomorrow is Friday.

I pull into the diner and turn my car off. Being able to talk to Linda sounds very comforting right about now. I pull open the door and is met with the familiar chime yet no friendly face. Some younger lady comes out behind the counter with the same ugly uniform asking if she can help me and that I can sit anywhere I'd like. Of course I already know that but I don't voice my thoughts. Instead I take my usual seat and look around like a lost child trying to find her parent. The waitress comes over and grabs her pen and notepad as if I'm going to order anything.

"What can I get for you sweets? You waitin' on someone?" She says with a southern drawl. She clearly is new, not only to this diner but to the state as well.

"Um actually I was wondering if Linda was here. She works here all the time." I say hopefully. Her face falls and I almost feel sorry for asking.

"No one told you?"

I shake my head really confused.

"Are you Camari?" She asks. My name sounds funny with her accent but I nod anyway.

"She talked about you all the time like you were her own. I figured someone would've contacted you. She was a great woman, welcomed me with open arms and taught me everything she knows." The lady says with a watery smile. Her brown eyes sparkle even in this horrible lighting.

"What do you mean was?" I say slightly starting to worry. My heart starts to race and I feel cold even though there's no draft.

"She passed away a few days ago. I'm so sorry honey." She says sincerely. I shake my head in disbelief. I can't handle anymore loss. I get up and leave immediately.

I rip open my car door and slam it shut once I'm inside. I don't even start my car. The built up tension has made a reappearance and has brought back a flood of tears. I suddenly feel so angry and helpless. I smack my hands repeatedly on the dashboard before sobbing against my steering wheel. I've always known life wasn't fair, from my dad leaving, to good people dying terrible deaths for no reason, but I want to know who I pissed off in a past life to deserve this. I start my car once again and drive back to town again. I can't hide these feelings and I can honestly say 100% that I am a wreck. I wipe my tears continuously as I continue my long drive back to town.

I would love nothing more than to pack everything up and leave this place. I remember my mother's words on how I need to go live with my father and I'm honestly considering it, now more than ever. I decide to move in with him as I find myself pulling onto a familiar street.

I pull into Calum's driveway with my headlights off so he doesn't know I'm here. My emotions are so messed up right now. I feel calm thinking of Calum but Luke's stupid words play in the back of my mind like a song I can't stop playing. I know that if I want answers I have to ask but I've done enough digging for tonight. I just want a hug and someone to tell me it's going to be okay because I'm not believing myself anymore. And maybe some ice cream.

With a deep breath, I get out and walk up to his porch. I ring the doorbell and wait patiently. His mom answers and I was very surprised. I can tell that she knows I've been crying. My running mascara probably gave it away.

"Hi Mrs. Hood, I'm Camari. Is Calum home?" I ask nervously.

"Yeah he's in his room, second door on the left." She says with a gentle smile as she opens the door wider and invites me in. I force a weak smile and nod in appreciation before heading up the familiar stairs. I proceed to the end of the hall until I see his door. I open his door and see him sitting in his desk chair as he talks to a girl sitting on his bed. Their conversation stops as I open the door and he stares at me surprised.

I focus my attention only on him. "Sorry to interrupt. I didn't know you were busy. Um I'm gonna go but could you maybe call me when you get a chance? Okay great thanks. Have a nice night." I rush out all in one breath feeling really stupid and nervous. Two emotions I've been feeling an awful lot of lately.

I hurry back down the stairs and make it out to my car. Right before I can get in I'm stopped by Calum.

"Camari. Hey what's going on? Look at me." He says quietly, like he's talking to a scared wild animal. I turn around facing the ground, not giving him the satisfaction of him seeing me fall apart. He places his fingers under my chin and tilts my head so I'm looking right up at him.

"Tell me what's wrong babe." He says.

"Everything." I whisper. He pulls me into his strong chest as my hands find their way to his shirt. After a while I pull away and apologize for getting tears on his shirt.

"I'm sorry I interrupted you and your girlfriend." I say sniffling. His beautiful laugh fills the empty silence and I look up at him.

"Cami she isn't my girlfriend, she's my sister. She's home from college." He explains causing me to feel more embarrassed. "Besides," He says intertwining our hands together. "I was hoping you'd be my girlfriend, officially." I bite my lip unsure. He can't just put me on the spot like this when I'm at war with myself. I feel myself nodding along anyway, partially because I actually want to be his girlfriend, and because another part of me doesn't want to hurt him after everything he's done for me.

"Mali and I were going to a party in a little bit. You should come. I'm sure you could wear something of hers if you wanted." He says. He leans down to whisper in my ear. "Or you could wear something of mine." He says kissing my cheek as he pulls away.

"I don't know Calum, I'd have to drive home and the last time I was at a party," I cut myself off unable to think about it.

"Simple, you can stay with me tonight, plus it's a college party so we won't know anyone else there except each other. I'm not drinking because the only way I got to go was if I was her designated driver. I won't let anything happen to you I promise. You look like you could use a drink and a good time." He says desperately.

"Okay fine." I agree thinking that an alcoholic drink sounds like bliss. Bad ideas always have the best intentions and I guess this is one.

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