What If I can't forget you? (A Kellic Fanfiction)

Chapter six. (A Kellic Fanfiction)

(I am SO sorry this took so long to come out. I have been SO busy recently with school and family stuff. But here we are! I'm amazed at how many views this story has since I've been gone! Thank you everyone that's read/reading this and I am determined to finish this in a fashion that no one's going to expect ;D)

-Kellin POV-

A week had past and I hadn't spoken to Vic since I was last at his flat. Warped tour was going to be amazing and I'm so excited to be playing it in less than six months from now! To think that we were just some little band that nobody had even heard of, and now we're playing Warped Tour, it's awesome.

I was speeding down the highway, on my way home. It was another blazingly hot day, and all I was surrounded with was the shimmering dust of the road, and the sound of the roaring engine of my convertible. Things were incredibly complicated right now and I decided to go back home to Katelynne. I had a long hard think about what I was going to do about mine and Vic's... Friendship’. It was so complicated and stupid. I wish none of it had ever happened in the first place, and I would never be in this mess. After a few weeks of thinking, I thought maybe I could tell Vic that it was all a joke or something like that? Perhaps he would think the same and try to forget everything.

But that's when it went through my head again. The kiss.
It pierced through my memory so intensely that the car swerved for just a short moment. My fingertips began tingling like I had just touched a radiator, after going out on a cold snowy day.
I hated myself immensely for it, but I wasn't going to attempt to fool myself into thinking that there was no spark in that kiss. In fact, spark would be a huge understatement. Try and think of it as an atomic bomb, because that's a lot closer to what it felt like when our lips met.

Either way, I was going home. Vic and I could stay friends perhaps, but I love Katelynne. And I had a real reason to love her too. She needs me, and I need her. We keep each other alive, and that's what love is, right? I needed her, and I knew that much. Thinking to myself now, if another person were to look upon this whole situation, it would seem like I don’t love her that much. But it’s almost like I love her too much. I don’t want to have to drag Katelynne down with me. I have my fair amount of shit, and I don’t want her to be rolling in it too. I act like I do because I care for her. She is my world. To think that I made a move that could stop her from being with me altogether makes me want to stop breathing. And to think that I nearly did exactly that, makes me realise that what I had said to Vic, I actually meant for Katelynne.

You’re so in denial, Kellin. You always fuck things up. You know you this will haunt you forever.  I began to shake my head as I shouted, “No! No! Stop this! Just go away!” Tears began to well up in my eyes as the voices began to repeat themselves. In such a big world, I was so alone. Pulling over, my shaky hands pulled out my phone. A tear dropped on to the screen of my iPhone, before I rubbed it on my jeans and wiped my eyes with my sleeve, sniffing and breathing heavily. I pressed Matty’s name.

“Kell, what’s up!?” I heard his familiar voice pick up, instantly comforting me.
“M-Matty?” I managed to blubber out. I had pulled over on this long stretch of road, still in the middle of nowhere as the sun continued to indulge its way into the sand.
“Kellin? What’s going on, are you okay?” Matthew Mullins was my best friend. He had been my closest friend for years now and he always knew how to help. “Kellin? Buddy, answer me.”
“I’ve fucked everything up, Matt.” I started to cry properly again as the words had left my mouth, “Everything.”
The phone was silent for a few seconds, “Kellin, where are you right now?”
“The highway to Florida.”
“Why are you not with the boys?”
“B-Because..” I sobbed, “They can’t see me like this. And my- My doctor wants me home. He thinks I have Bipolar.” I scrunched my face up, putting it in my hand.
“I’m driving out to see yo-“
“No.” I butted in, sighing, trying to catch my breath, “Stay with your wife. I just needed to hear your voice, man. I’m sorry.” I closed my eyes, scrunching up my face in attempt to stop myself from blubbering loudly.
“But you’re not okay, Kellin.” Matty’s voice was filled with worry.
“I’m fine, I’ll make it home I promise.”
He paused, “Okay, call me when you get back.” A small sigh was let out, before I replied,
“I will.”
“I love you, bud.” He said, just before I nodded, and he put the phone down.

I put my phone on the seat beside me, before leaning my head on the steering wheel of my car. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just be okay like everyone else?

What am I going to do?

(Don't forget to vote, favourite and add to your library if you're enjoying this! Also, I need a favour, could you comment on whether you'd prefer a happy or a sad ending? I will count up the comments after a couple of weeks and the ending is all down to you! If it's even, I'll do alternate endings. ;3 Love you all.)