Dylan O'Brien Imagines and Preferences

"did i do this to you?" - dylan o'brien

Warning: it's sad 

I hate my life, I have no one that cares about me. 

I have no friends, I never leave my room and I always sit by myself at school. 

My family barely notices me, I can go a week without having to talk or see them. 

Everything is just shit especially at school. I have this one kid that always makes fun of me. I have no idea why, I never talked to him, I was never mean to him. I even had a crush on him when I was younger but know he's a fucking asshole. 

His name is Dylan, he is popular, has good friends, captain of the baseball team. I have music and drama class with him, he plays the drums and he's a great actor. He's a sweetheart to everyone around him expect me. 

It started on the first day of high-school. I was at my locker minding my own business until Dylan rams me into the locker. I dropped everything, fell and broke my glasses. Everyone laughed and made fun of me and it was all because of Dylan. No one wanted to be my friend because if the coolest guy in school hated you, everyone hated you. 

Things got so bad I started to self harm around a year ago, I don't know how I got the idea but it started with scratching, then poking myself with sharp things, then eventually it led to the razor. 

Today at school started off as a normal day, I'm at my locker pulling things out of my bag when I hear Dylan's voice.

"Look who's here, the fuck face herself." His group of friends laughing with him. I have to deal with this all day everyday. 

I finish with putting the books in my locker and keeping the ones I need for my next two classes. What a surprise they are both with Dylan.

I turn and try to walk to English, but two firm hands keeps me pinned up against the locker. I try wiggling out of Dylan's grasp but it just makes him push me harder.

I close my eyes and brace myself for what disgusting words he has today.

All if a sudden I feel his grip soften. I look at him but he wasn't looking at me. Well not my face. I follow his line of sight and they land on my wrist. The sleeves have balled up to my elbow and there, for everyone to see, are bright red fresh cuts.

"Did I do this to you?"

I didn't want to see the look on his face, to see the smirk it would break me. I wear my sleves low and try to always wear jumpers so he never got the satisfaction of knowing what he's word do to me. But something in his voice sounded off, a tone that i've never heard of.  I look up to see his face filled with concern and sadness. I watch as his eyes tear up and my heart breaks for him. 

I'm too scared to say anything. I just nod slowly. I look around to see that everyone has gone to class, it's just me and Dylan.

I see tears falling from his eyes. 

What the hell is happening? Why is he crying? I've never in my life seen this boy express any emtion but anger towards me. 

Suddenly Dylan collapses on the ground, sobbing loudly. I don't like how Dylan made me feel, but I hate seeing anyone in pain. 

I quickly lift him up and carry him into the guy's locker room. I place him on a cold steel bench and kneel down in front of him.

"Hey, I don't know why you're crying, but I need you to calm down and tell me what just happened back there."

Once the tears slow down and his breathing becomes steady, he's able to talk.

"I hurt you, I-I can't believe I hurt you. I'm the reason you did that. I'm so sorry, I just didn't know how to deal with the feelings I got when I was around you."

"Listen Dylan it's okay, it wasn't just you. I know there is better ways to express your hatred towards me, but I shouldn't have been so weak. This wasn't your fault." Maybe he's having an emotional day and he's finally realising how mean he has been towards me throughout the years.  

"No you don't understand. I don't hate you and I never have. When I see you this bomb explodes in my stomach. When I watch you reading under that Oak tree behind your house, it makes me so nervous. There's this feeling I get whenever I touch you, like a little spark against my skin. I have been in love with you since I accidentally ran into you on the first day of school. My friend knew I liked you and he pushed me into you. I was trying to apologise and help you up, but you told me to fuck off. It hurt me and I was embarrassed. It defiantly isn't an excuse of how i treated you and I'm so so sorry. I never knew this was happening." 

I don't know what to do, I'm so confused. I don't know how to respond. Do I forgive him? Be angry? Cry? 

After a few moments of silence and processing i can't help it but burst out laughing. I laugh so hard that i can't support my self and I'm leaning on Dylan so I don't fall on the floor. 

"I don't understand." Dylan says confused.

"That is the day I fell for you. I was embarrassed because the hottest person in the grade just knocked me over in front of the entire school. They were laughing and I was scared so i told you to fuck off. I'm sorry t-"

"No, don't say you were sorry. This is my fault entirely. You should never apologise for this, I'm sorry I should have known that my words could've hurt you this much." 

"Lets start over." I stick my hand out. "I'm Y/N, my favourite book is The HungerGames, my favourite colour is Blue, and I love watching movies while eating chocolate during the weekend." 

Dylan smiles and wipes his tears away. "I'm Dylan, I love playing baseball, my favourite colour is Orange and Blue. I love watching movies and eating popcorn during the weekends." He reaches out and shakes my hand. I feel the same tingle I get whenever I touch Dylan. 

"Do you really think I'm the hottest person you've ever met?" 

"Oh shit."