Dylan O'Brien Imagines and Preferences

Distant and Alone -part 1- Stiles Stilinski

A/N TRIGGER WARNING. 

This might be a trigger for some people as it goes into the details of suicide. If any of you are going through a touch time and suffering depression or close to commiting suicide. Please, just think of everything you are going to miss. For example all the new Dylan O'Brien movies. Lmao lame example but still please just think about what you are leaving behind, and no matter how dark the world seems it gets better I promise. Hope you guys enjooooy xxxx

I look down at the thin piece of steel laid on the palm of my hand.

How can such a small thing end life? All I have to do is swipe this across my wrist, few minutes later all the pain will be gone.

As I slowly pick up the shinning razor blade, I think of everything I'm going to leave behind. Only three things come to mind. My two best friends, the ones that have been by my side since I was 4 years old. Scott and Stiles, these two have been the only thing keeping me from ending my life sooner.

Now they have become distant.

They have stopped sitting with me at lunch, they now sit in the library and hang out with Scott's new girlfriend, Allison, and Stiles mayor crush, Lydia.

Stiles doesn't pick me up from school anymore. He always says he will but it's gotten to the point where I don't wait for him anymore, I know he isn't coming.

Scott and I never hang out at the park like we used to do. Whenever Stiles is working with his Dad at the sheriff's station Scott and I would always spend time together at the park two blocks away from my house.

We never hang out anymore, it's always just Scott, Stiles, Allison and Lydia. They've never included me in anything they do. I once tried to invite everyone to my house, they ended up all cancelling on me... three hours after they said they would come.

And the only other things that comes to mind other than my two best friends, my dog Milo. She's the best dog anyone can ever have. She loves cuddles just like me, always sleeps just like me, eats a lot just like me and hates running just like me.

Over these past few months she's been the only light in my life.

Milo passed away 2 days ago.

She died after eating snail poising from the neighbours garden. They think thickly coating everything in their garden is going to be safe. It's complete bullshit.

Tears run down my cheeks as I think of Milo. She was so amazing, and I miss her so much. She will always stay in my heart.

A hole inside my chest starts to form.

Not this again, ugh.

Every time I think of Stiles, Scott or Milo I start to feel this empty hole inside me. It sits right in the middle of my chest. The feeling makes me weak, I hate it. I wish it could go away.

I feel my hand tighten slightly around the sharp blade.

I don't have to just wish it to go away. I can make it go away. I can make me go away.

As I think of my life right now. The friends I've lost, the dog I loves taken away from me. I can't do this anymore.

I pick up the razor from my left palm and squeeze it tightly between my thumb and index finger.

I slowly bring my left arm up and lower the razor.

This is it. I'm going to end my life. I can finally end it all.

No more pain.

No more tears.

No more me.

I push the razor against my skin and swipe it quickly across my wrist. I wince at the small sharp pain but it soon goes away and all I can feel is the blood dripping down my arm onto the carpet floor staining it.

As I look at my wrist I don't feel like it'll be fast enough. I seriously can't live a minute longer.

I bring the razor down and swipe it across my wrist. Again and again and again. Until I'm sure that it'll all end soon.

Tears drip down my cheek and the empty hole in my chest starts to fade away.

My eyes start to slowly go black and soon all I can hear is the faint sound of my name being called before I drop to the floor.