Fix Me | Phan High School AU

Chapter Three and a Half (Filler)

THIS SUCKS AND IS REALLY LATE IM SO SORRY.

I have just had bad writers block and just haven't felt motivated to write. Hopefully a longer, better chapter will be up soon.

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING RIGHT HERE

Phil's POV

I groaned as the loud, electronic beeping of my alarm clock ripped through the quiet morning air. Slamming my hand down on the off button, I unwillingly kicked off my duvet and stood up, stretching. My brain was groggily telling me to crawl back under the warm covers, but I knew if I did that I would fall back asleep instantly.

I began my usual morning routine, starting with a shower.

Walking to the bathroom, I unwillingly pulled off my pajama pants and my boxers, flinching as the chilly air brushed against my exposed skin. After the water warmed up to a comfortable temperature, I stepped into the shower.

I stood still for a while, just thinking and enjoying the feeling of the warm drops of water running down my back. My mind slowly began drifting towards school, and all of the horrible things that could go wrong today.

"What if Anthony and his friends decide to do something again, will Dan stop them or was that whole act of kindness a facade?" I wondered, rinsing the soap out of my hair.

My thoughts drifted from one thing to another, until I finally turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, flinching at the sudden coldness. I wrapped a towel around my waist and started walking back towards my bedroom, only to be stopped when I glanced in the mirror, grimacing at my reflection.

I hated what I saw; I was pale and lanky, but somehow still had a visible muffin-top. Scars littered my arms from my wrists to my elbows, some deep, others lighter. There were a few scattered on my thighs and stomach as well.

My family didn't know I cut. I doubted they would care, either.

My mum wasn't a horrible person, but I've barely seen her since she started her new job. She's on business trips a lot. That's what she tells us, at least. The unfamiliar cologne on her jacket tells a different story, though I've chosen not to ask. It would only make things worse with my father.

He hadn't always been the way he is, he used to be a kind, loving person. Then his sister died, and he turned to alcohol. Though the drug helped numb his grief, it intensified his anger immensely. He mostly does a lot of yelling, but there're times when he's gotten violent as well. Things have gotten worse since I came out as bisexual.

I don't know what I expected to gain from telling them, I should have just kept my mouth shut. My Mum just muttered something along the lines of "That's nice honey..." and continued looking at her paperwork. My dad said nothing, giving me an incomprehensible glance. I found out what it meant later that night.

As soon as My mum pulled out of the driveway, he grabbed me by my arm and flung me into the wall, yelling at me about how I was "a disgrace to his family" and that I "didn't deserve to be his son".

He swung his beer bottle at me as I ran, barely hitting me on the head. It didn't shatter like it does in the movies—the glass was thick, almost plastic-like.

I could still hear his insults as I slammed my bedroom door behind me, collapsing against it. Out of habit, I reached blindly reaching for a razor.

I think that night was the closest I have ever come to dying. I felt like, no matter how hard I pressed down, nothing was enough to block out his slurred yelling. I eventually came to my senses and stopped, wrapping my arms in bandages before the bleeding became too severe. I still wonder what would have happened if I kept going. Would I have died? Would my hung-over father have come upstairs to find his son lying in a pool of his own blood?

I managed to tear my gaze away from the mirror, sulking back into my bedroom.

The house was quiet, so I could only assume my father was passed out in his room and Mum was still on one of her work trips. She had been gone longer than usual this time, I noticed.

I quickly got dressed, not bothering to do anything with my hair, and hurried downstairs. I had gotten in trouble for being late once already, and I had no intentions of it happening again.

A/N: Once again I'm sorry this really sucks and is so late, I'll try to update soon. X

Remember, please inform me of any typos. <3