Fix Me | Phan High School AU

Chapter Eleven

A/N: I am sosoosososoosos sorry this is so late oml

Longer chapter than usual, it seems really short to me for some reason

I hope you guys are emotionally stable because this chapter will probably kill some of you.

I personally wrote this without batting an eye.

Maybe I'm soulless, idk.

DAN'S POV

"Phil." I stared in shock at Phil, who was propping himself up against the sterile, white hospital bed pillows. "Oh my gosh I'm so glad you're awake!" I let out a small sob of relief and stood up, reaching forward to give him a hug.

"Dan..." Phil muttered, holding up his hands.

I felt my face heat up as I quickly backed away. "S-sorry... I shouldn't of—"

"Dan, do you love me?" Phil asked.

I looked up at him nervously, he looked exhausted.

Everything about him, from the way his voice tremored to the way he blearily rubbed his eyes, was done in a manner that truly showed how fed up he was with his existence.

I felt another ton of guilt settle in the pit of my stomach.

"I-yes, I-I do."

Phil let out a soft sigh, glancing away from me. "Then what was it all for?" He asked, looking back at me. "I thought you hated me." Phil choked out, his eyes shining. "I thought had just found one more thing in my life to screw up."

"Phil, I can't-"

"Shut up." Phil snapped at me, silencing my words at once. "You made me feel worthless. You were the one person that I thought might actually end up liking me despite all my flaws, despite how we first met. But all you did was give the false hope of being rebuilt then tear me down even more!" Phil yelled, tears streaking the pale skin of his cheeks.

I shook my head, my vision blurring with unshed tears. "Phil, if I would have known I would never-"

"If you would have known what Dan?!" Phil yelled, the beeping on his heart monitor increasing rapidly. "If you would have known that I would have run home and slit my wrists open hoping that I would die?! What then? Would you still have treated me like a worthless toy for you to play with? A game to see how long you could mess with me before I broke? I should never have forgiven you! I should have realized you would just be another arrogant chav that thinks he's better than everyone else!

I shook my head slightly as I stepped back, hand reaching up to cover my mouth.

"I'm sorry." I croaked out. "I know that changes nothing but please, you just have to realize that I'm so sorry" Phil's eyes (now a stormy grey) bared down on me with an indescribable amount of hurt etched into them. "I know you can't forgive me, that makes two of us, but please, it's so important for you to understand that I love you. I was too self-conscious before to admit it, I was too worried that the popular status I had worked to create would be stripped away and I would be nothing.

I can't believe how childish I was, thinking that a high-school reputation actually mattered." I shook my head, running a hand through my messy hair. "But no matter what I said, no matter what I did, there was not a single point at which I didn't love you."

Phil shook his head sadly, tears running down his cheek and dripping onto the pale bedsheets. "I want to believe you Dan, I really do."

"Phil..."