Holding My Heart (Aaron Tveit Fanfic)

Chapter Four

"But, Peter, how do we get to Neverland?" I was rehearsing for the auditions for the play Peter Pan. I wanted to audition for Wendy. I was rehearsing with my new best friend Shiloh. Since I haven't talked to Aaron in three weeks and counting, I needed someone to hangout with, and I met Shiloh. Shiloh is this kid that is in my debate class. He has bleach blonde hair, wears Abercrombie and Fitch shirts with beige shorts, and Sperrys. His shoes looked like they belong in the 2013's or something. Although, Shiloh makes the shoes look really cute...I've never really thought of Shiloh in that way, though; he sorta feels like a brother to me, now. 

"Fly, of course," Shiloh acted like he was Peter Pan for now. He really isn't into theater stuff, he leaves that up to me, his red headed, 5 foot, Christian best friend. Shiloh is Christian...but not a very strict Christian like I'm trying to be. He's in Aaron's basketball team, and talks to Aaron every now and then. And get this...Shiloh is a junior, 16, and doesn't have a phone yet...he just uses his moms Nokia until he gets one, which is hopefully soon, I want to be able to text him without him worrying about his moms text limit. 

Speaking of phones, I've been getting more of those awful texts from that anonymous blocked number. I'm seriously about to go to the cops if these texts don't stop, they're ridiculous.  

"Fly?" I asked trying to get Wendy's tone of curiosity into the lines I was reciting.  

With a disapproving look, Shiloh said, "You know, I really can't see you being Wendy with that black eye." 

"You try getting a black eye from the hottest guy in school!" I exclaimed from across my huge bedroom to Shiloh who was sitting on the chair next to my window. 

Looking to his left Shiloh asked out of the blue, "Has anyone ever broke in through that window?" 

There it goes, my panic attacks. I get them every time someone talks about anyone breaking in or anything related to that. The subject of that stuff makes me think of what happened when I was home alone when I was just twelve years old in Washington... 

"Are you okay, D.J?" Shiloh kept asking me with me failing to respond.  

I was gasping for air and holding onto my night stand because I didn't feel stable, I needed some place safe.  

"Honey what's wrong?" my dad flew into my room with Shiloh trailing right behind him, worried sympathetic looks on each of their faces.  

I was still gasping for air, and my heart kept beating really fast. 

I was reliving that night in Washington.  

*** 

The nurse in the dress with cats all over it kept telling me to stay calm and to relax. The other nurse in the dog fabric looked at me and asked me, my heart still beating and me grasping for air, "When our patients have panic attacks, we tell them to think of some one or someplace that makes them feel safe. Can you do that for me, honey? Can you think of someone that makes you feel like everything will be alright?"  

Immediately I thought of Aaron. I started remembering that amazing day we had. Me, waking up to him, feeling safe next to him, the cute kiss on the cheek he gave me, the dinner that we had with my dad that surprisingly wasn't like the stereotypical dinner with parents; it wasn't awkward at all. It felt like I knew Aaron for a year with just being with him for a day. I felt safe with him, I felt comfortable in my skin. 

I started calming down and relaxing. My heart beats per second started to go at a healthier pace and I could breathe again, not like someone was chocking me or something... 

"DD! Never to that to me again! You scared me so much," Shiloh rushed into the pasty white hospital room that I was in right when he got the OK. 

"Well sorry to scare you, there," I said. Sometimes Shiloh is self centered. "Didn't mean to give you a panic attack there," I said with a wink, Shiloh giving me a big hug. 

"Oh, your dad is coming, he is just getting us some food. He told me you are usually hungry after you've had a panic attack. I'm so sorry about this, DD," Shiloh said while sitting down on the crunchy white blankets. Oddly, I liked it when Shiloh called me DD; it's like he's trying to give me a nickname for my nickname.  

"Alright kiddo. I'm so happy you're feeling better, honey. Let's head on home, yea?" My dad proposed after giving me a bag of vending machine bought chocolate pretzels with a bag of Funyuns; my favorite snack. 

After I popped open both bags, I just got a feeling it was time to leave this place. "Yea, let's go home," I said with a fake smile on my face. What I really wanted was to sneak over to Aaron's house and just hug him really tight and tell him I'm sorry for ignoring him for the past three weeks, two years was what it really felt like. 

*** 

"D.J! Great news. I'm getting a phone tonight! I don't have to text you from my moms phone anymore," Shiloh held up his moms phone that he's been using in the backseat.  

"Yes! Let's go to that pizza place!" I exclaimed when my dad drove past a pizza restaurant on our way to drop off Shiloh at home, totally ignoring whatever Shiloh just said. My pretzels and Funyuns were gone and I was getting hungry again. Then I saw my phone light up. NEW TEXT MESSAGE 

I looked down at the number, blocked. Again?! I was so tired of this.  

As my dad pulled into the parking lot of the pizza place, I decided to tell him about this anonymous person texting me from this blocked number. So I did, I told him everything, about all the texts to all the threats packed into the texts, to why Aaron hasn't been over at our house since the first day of school. 

*** 

The next thing I knew I was at a police station standing in between my new best friend and my very pissed off dad; not really a place where I wanted to be. Especially when I had a craving for pizza and had Wendy's lines to learn for the play auditions next week. 

"Alright, ma'am. I'm going to need you to show me those messages that this person has been sending you," said this guy, Mr.Benson. That's what his name tag read, on this very big white guy. So, I gave Benson my phone and let him read through the never ending hateful texts I've been receiving. You should've seen this policeman's facial expressions when he was reading the messages on my latest (year 2000) Nokia phone. First he opened his mouth all wide in surprise and then he scrunched his face up because he probably couldn't believe the messages. I was trying so hard not to laugh at this guy, but then I remembered that my weird faces look as bad as his. 

My dad had enough of Mr.Benson and his expressions, asking impatiently, "Can you track the number down so we can find this chick or what??" 

With that, Mr. Benson went to the back of the police station, disappearing for a long time.  

"This is really weird. I wonder who it is..." Shiloh said in a weird tone. 

"I just hope we find this immature girl and make her stop messing with my baby girl's head," my dad snapped back to Shiloh. After that, the three of us were in silence for the rest of the time that Mr.Benson was gone with my flip phone. 

Shiloh was never this quiet, which was scaring me a little. I mean the only reason I'm not talking is because I'm totally anxious. And my dad is an open book with his emotions and clearly he's not talking because he is hurt from me getting cyber bullied. Thirty minutes pass, and Mr. Benson walks casually through the door leading to the front of the station were the three of us were patiently seated.  

"My pals and I tracked the blocked number down to the account of Stanley Tveit," Mr. Benson said as he chowed down on a donut he found on his desk.  

Both Shiloh and Dad looked at me, not knowing what that name meant, and was waiting for me to fill them in. 

I was speechless. 

"That's Aaron Tveit's dad...Aaron has been texting me this whole time," a whole mix of emotions come over me; fear, anger, anxiety, so many mixed feelings. But the one thing I kept asking myself was, "Would Aaron really do this to me?" 

***