Butterfly {Edited and COMPLETED}

Part One

Burning white lilies is suffocating but I think that it's like...holding your breath. The sweet smell consumes me in my dreams and its pure white colour reminds me of what I want in my life...purity and peace. I want to live like this forever, without trouble or any fear, just peace. At least for now, because who can be immortal? "Hyung? It's Jungkook" he opens the door and stares at the flower in my hand. "Jin hyung, who's funeral are you going to?" He asks me with a worried expression. I laughed. "Why do you say that, I just think that it's a very pretty flower-I picked it of the garden at the church on my way back to the dorm." He looks at my hand again and mumbles something to himself. I guess he's just worried about my health because we've had a really tough and busy schedule this whole month causing a lot of us to get sick- I'm not as bad as Taehyungie and Yoongi though, they were rushed to the hospital yesterday and it made me worry a lot. I guess it's true when the ARMYs say that I'm the mom of Bangtan. After a while Jungkook leaves telling me that he needs to practice. Our poor Golden Maknae, he works so hard- even his health is deteriorating. Our PDnim is really kind though. We really are greatly appreciative of BigHit's effort to help us become the best that we can be. I hope all my dongsaengs will be healthy again, especially Vsshi and Sugassi.

I've really gotten addicted to these flowers- they're so intoxicating it's heavenly. It's become a habit of mine to burn them in the morning when I go to the bathroom and once again at night while I'm going to sleep- but they burn too fast. I think that I've been doing this for a few days now, at least a week has gone by where I have without fail burned the white lilies. Of course they do make the room feel a little stuffy, but like I've said before, it's a feeling of holding your breath; I'm trying to see how long I can hold my breath. It's the only way that I can feel like my life is real. Staring at the beautiful white petals turning black as they burn; it's depicts my life, something I don't want. I had a dream last night about a perfect place- I had what I wanted, peace and purity. We were all there and we were having the time of our lives; V and Suga were healthy, we all were.

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V's POV
Suga hyung and I came back to the dorm three days ago, and we are completely fine and healthy. Thank you ARMYs for supporting us and showering your love on us. I'm just saddened that the ARMYs had to get disappointed due to our ill states leading to the cancellation of the concert. Mianhae ARMYs! Yongseohae.

Coming back, it was different, I mean we were only gone for like two days, but the atmosphere had really changed. Especially Jin hyung who was not being the same old funny guy that we all know. Yeah we had a lot of laughs now and then, but Jin hyung seemed really out of it, and it's really starting to worry me. Yesterday I went into his room to ask him about practise when I found him lying in bed staring at the ceiling. He doesn't do that often. He didn't even notice me. "Hyung. Jin hyung mweo hasineun geoyeyo? (What are you doing?) Gwaenchanheuseyo? (Are you okay?)" He looked at me with a puzzled expression and then he got up, "Ah, Taehyungie, mianhae. Yeah I'm fine, don't worry. How long were you standing there? I was thinking about something." I didn't know what to say, at that moment I had forgotten my purpose of even entering the room- I was looking around the room making contact with everything but his eyes when I noticed a peculiar looking bottle. I must've looked like a retard (not that I'm not-I'm known as the alien with a 4D personality, like what does that even mean?) squinting into the small corner of his room. Slowly I made my way there that led to the bathroom and my eyes widened in surprise. "Boyah!? Hyung why do you have red pills in the bathroom? What happened? Hyung, chebal! Let me take you to a doctor." I was really not expecting this. What's wrong with him, why won't he tell me? "Aniya, gwaenchanha ... Really V, you need to stop. Just please leave now, I want to rest. There has been more than the usual amount of practises since you and Yoongi went to the hospital and I'm tired."

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Jin's POV
That was almost too close. I cannot at any cost let any of the members know what's happening. I can't let them know that the concept for the BTS Begins photoshoot was chosen by me. I can't let them know that I'm slowly dying, rotting away from the real world. Our photoshoot was for our comeback and the idea was that we are in our youth, "The Most Beautiful Moment in Life", but I wasn't. There were a lot of questions coming in from the ARMYs wondering why I wasn't as happy as the others in my pictures. Obviously I had to make up a story to cover that up. The red pills in the picture, they were real. I really am taking red pills- but the other members don't know that. If I want to live, for at least a little longer than what I have, then I need to take them. As for why, well, you won't believe me. The day before the shoot, I had gone to the hospital because I was feeling unusually ill, that was the day I picked up the white lily. Coming out through the doors my knees gave way and before I knew it, I was on the ground clutching my stomach. I didn't have much time left, I was diagnosed with a rare disease and it was almost always 100% fatal. The white lilies help me embrace my fate better- they give me peace. The next day at the shoot, something really was bothering me: my discovery the day before. I really couldn't concentrate on what the photographer wanted me to do, and so I requested him to let my natural expressions be a part of the pictures. I really couldn't explain all this to the others but somehow I managed to get through the day.

Later we had another photoshoot. This was going to be uploaded onto the official BigHit Instagram page. We were taking pictures for our prologue and that was when I thought of my dream. My dream was similar to this-we were all together, happily running around and just...having fun. I smiled for the first time since the shoot had started. PDnim said that I had the responsibility of uploading all the photos and so I felt quite happy to do that. Looking back, I miss that day. I noticed as I was uploading each picture that it was like watching Peter Pan-it looked like Neverland. My kind of wonderland. I decided that writing #DREAM and #NEVERLAND would really sum up our experience that day. They really were beautiful, except I realized that everyone had a single picture of themselves...except for me. I stared at the screen for a while making sure that I hadn't missed out any pictures. I scrolled through everything- everything was there?! My world was already crumbling. As I uploaded the last picture- it was the whole group running on the grass, laughing and just having a great time; but I was running a little further away from the group. I looked distanced. I was the only one running in shoes, why? Now looking at it, I wasn't feeling it. It's like I was never there-like I was a dream. Like it was all a dream.

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A/N
Well this is the edited version of the first part. Not much has changed but there are very minor detail changes only since this was the best out of the rest of the parts I wrote (feeling totally ashamed and unINFIRED😭). I'm hoping to make the book a little longer and more readable because I know it's so trashy. Sorry for the bad writing! I promise it'll be better. But please do vote and comment, it will help me a lot.
Lot's of love and stay INFIRED!!
-Keeri<3
방탄소년단  화이팅!!😘