A Blue Neighbourhood ••Tronnor

LOST BOY

A/N: Okayy I have like 1% inspiration right now and used it all to this part, if it sucks you should know that I did my best soooooo.... Well yeah, let's hope it doesn't suck shall we?
Kind of sad warning I guess

*

-Troye
I woke up in the best way you could possibly imagine to wake up. With my boyfriend Connor's arm wrapped around my torso. I'd stay here forever if I could.

But I couldn't.

In a couple of minutes, when Connor woke up. It'll all change. We'll be back on square one in our half-hearted relationship. We'll be acting as if we loved each other and maybe he did. But me, I wasn't so sure.

I mean, I wanted to love him. He was totally lovable. And he deserved the best, that's why I had to leave. I could offer him nothing, not even my love anymore.

I had to leave, and so I did.

I held my breath and lifted Connor's arm before rolling out of bed while calmly putting it down on the bed again. When I was standing beside the bed I dared to breathe again.

I watched him for a while, partly to see if he still was asleep, but mostly because he was beautiful. There was nothing more beautiful than Connor sleeping.

I shook my head and picked up some of my clothes from his floor and went to the bathroom. I put my clothes on and started to pick up all my belongings in the bathroom. My toothbrush, my deodorant and my shampoo went in the tiny backpack I had. Then I went back to Connor's room where my bag was and started throwing in the rest of my clothes and other things, as quiet as I could.

Both the bag and the backpack I put by Connor's door. After that I went to Connor's kitchen, picked up a piece of paper and a pen. I sat down the table and started scribbling.

Connor,

I know things have been bad lately. I know I've not been the boyfriend you expect me to be, the boyfriend you deserve. And I'm sorry for that. I'm so sorry for being absent minded, and for always needing your help.

I know I'm weak. I know you're always there for me and I know that every time you need my help I run. And I don't even know why you're staying here with me, because there's so many boys out there that could love you better than I do.

But now I'm not going to bring you down any longer. I'm not gonna make you wait for my anymore because I know, I think you know, that I'm not gonna get any better. This is who I am, this weak, awful person who can't take care of himself.

You think you can fix me but you can't. And that's why I'm leaving you. It'll be better that way, I'm sure.

The tears pressed behind my eyelids as I wrote line after line.

Sincerely,
Troye

And I put the pen down on the table and folded the piece of paper. I walked to Connor's room where he was still asleep. I sighed and walked over to his bed.

All I really wanted to do was lay down beside him, but I didn't. Instead I put the folded letter on the pillow I slept on. And I leaned over, placed a kiss on his cheek. His lips curled into a small smile.

It warmed my heart, which only made me stay more. But I squeezed my eyes together and turned away from the only one who had been there for me when I needed him.

I walked out of his room and put my shoes and jacket on. I heard a metallic sound from my pocket and put my hand in it to feel the keys to Connor's apartment. I took them out and put them by his hall mirror.

While trying to hold my tears back, I put on my backpack and grabbed my bag. When I had left the apartment and closed the door I could feel a warm tear rolling down my cheek.

"Goodbye", I whispered.