Seven Letter Words #Wattys2016

Part 20

Juliet

The sweet taste of the champagne was still on my tongue as I slid it across my lip. I watched Liam's throat move as he swallowed his drink and felt my stomach drop low. A breath escaped quickly as my heart rate picked up. I could feel my cheeks grow hot as my insides began to felt warm and gooey. He was really something to look at. Perfection.

He tipped his head all the way back and made sure nothing was left in the once full champagne flute. When he set his glass on the table and his eyes met mine, a spark of excitement flared inside my ribs. What was happening to me? He was a Marine, and I'd told myself that I'd never get mixed up with someone who would have to leave me. Sometimes people grew apart and left each other, sometimes partners cheated and fell in love with someone else, and sometimes they just broke your heart and never looked back. With a Marine, the chances weren't "sometimes," they were just a matter of time. To serve their country, they had to leave. I didn't want to be the one at home waiting.

Still, I couldn't deny that I was developing feelings for him. Maybe not head-over-heels love, but a dependency and comfort. He was like a balm to my healing heart and I sort of wanted to drown in him. He didn't look away as I studied his features. He wasn't too much older than me, but I knew his eyes had seen enough to last a lifetime. How was it possible that he could still look at me so delicately when those very eyes must have seem the worst that humanity has to offer?

"How do you separate being here now from where you were a week ago?" I asked. He thought for a minute, his eyes looking away for the briefest of seconds before returning to mine.

"I don't. I see it all connecting. Maybe being in the Marines makes my spectrum of experiences larger, but it's all one scale. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the desert in a country far away from home. I see some really fucked up things and have to think about each little movement like it's life or death. But then sometimes I wake up at home in my own bed and the hardest decision I make all day is whether I want a sandwich or a burger for lunch."

"You don't ever feel like one makes the other seem unreal?" I couldn't imagine being able to reconcile the differences so easily.

"It's all very real. Every minute I'm breathing feels real." He reached for the bottle and poured us each a little more champagne. "Some days are just better than others." I watch his arm closely as he took another drink. If he were my boyfriend, I would've reached out and touched him. My hand was twitching to wrap around his strong bicep. I know I wouldn't be able to stop there. I'd let my palm glide across his chest and I'd run my nose along his jaw, softly breathing his scent and tracing a line along his hot skin with my tongue.

"How is this day rating?" I asked, a little giddy from the alcohol and hormones? His gaze lowered, sweeping up my bare legs and following the hem of my shirt before rising over the curve of my waist above my hips and landing on my breasts. As if on instinct, my lungs expanded, bringing them closer to his chest. His eyes flashed up to mine and a mischievous smile crossed his lips.

"I've seen you in your bikini," he said, reaching out with his free hand and tracing a line across my shoulder slow and seductively. "Then I watched you spread out across my bed in this shirt, that shouldn't be as sexy as it is on you." His hand drifted lightly down my arm until his finger rested on my empty champagne glass. When had I even drunk it all? Was it super hot in here? "And now I can still taste the strawberry you fed me on my tongue and as much as I'm not supposed to be thinking about it, it has me wondering if it tastes the same on yours."

I smiled, my heart pounding ferociously in my chest. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to bring his hand back to my skin and explore it a little more. I wanted him to gather me in his arms and kiss me so intensely that I forgot the reason we were in this room and that he was a Marine. A Marine that would leave me. I shook off the lust the best I could and set down my empty glass.

"I don't think we should explore that," I told him, but my tone wasn't very convincing.

"You don't," he responded, his eyes narrowing in suspicion. When I shook my head slightly, he reached out and stopped me with a finger beneath my chin. He tipped my head up to look into his eyes and took a step closer. I could feel his warm breath along the exposed skin at my neck and had to force myself to not let my eyes close. "Why not?"

"Because you're a Marine," I answered easily.

"What does that have to do with it?" His face moved even closer to mine, his sweet breath fanning across my moist lips. I watched his eyes look from mine to my lips and then back again. I could feel his warmth and his strength even though the only part of him touching me was the slight amount of skin where his finger was resting beneath my chin. I felt drunk even though I'd only had a little champagne.

"You are going to leave me. It might not be your choice, but you'll have to do it. If I fell in love with you, I wouldn't survive it. I can't be the girl that waits at home." I had watched my mother do it when I was younger and I'd kissed my father goodbye more than once. When I thought we were finally past that, my brother enlisted and my heart broke each time he had to leave. This last time, a piece of me died with him when he didn't come home.

We were looking right into each other's eyes and breathing in time with each other. I thought he might argue or try to convince me that I was wrong, but instead he just took in my words and gave me a small nod. He leaned in closer, my chest tightened and my heart leapt to my throat. Finally his strong lips pressed to my cheek with a tender kiss. The tension broke in what felt like an explosion centered inside my soul. He whispered in my ear, "I wish I could tell you that you're wrong, but I'd never lie to you. If you were mine I'd want to wake up next to you every morning and hold you tightly every night." He pulled back a little so he could see my face and I saw raw honesty in his eyes. "But I'm a Marine and that means I'm going to leave you, just like you fear." His head shook a little as if he hated what was going to come next, "And if I fell for you, I don't think I could survive saying goodbye either." 

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