Seven Letter Words #Wattys2016

Part 33

*****Warning for those who don't like the steamy stuff.......ENJOY for those of you who do ;) 

Liam

I was a mother-fucking liar that was going to be so screwed at the end of this arrangement. Telling myself the rules out loud was a poor attempt at trying to convince myself we weren't already too tangled up in all the emotions and connections between us. We were on a burning ship and I just pretended that agreeing there were life vests would keep us from actually going down with the ship.

Denial is a powerful thing. I was denying that my heart felt a connection that first day when our eyes met at her brother's funeral. I was denying that each little thing she shared about her life made me fall a little more for her. I was denying that sex with her was different than it was with other girls. That feeling her around me wasn't the best feeling in the world—one that I knew I was never going to feel again if I didn't agree to keep our relationship being a friends with benefits deal. So in short, I was denying everything I already knew and that included the fact that walking away from her in a few days was going to cut me open so wide, I'd be lucky to ever sew the wound back up.

I closed my eyes and relaxed into the mattress with Juliet still tucked so perfectly along my body. What the fuck was I doing? Pines, if you are out there man, I'm so sorry. I tried to stay away, but she's just too powerful a force for me to turn my back on. I'm sprung on her. I want to be the one she cries to and to protect her from the fucking redneck boy in his daddy's pick up that couldn't keep his eyes off her. I screwed up. I violated the bro code and I know I deserve a complete ass whooping. Please forgive me. I'll make it right somehow. I just wish there was a way I could get your blessing. If I knew you respected me enough to trust me with her—I'd do whatever the fuck it took to convince her to give me a shot. We've talked about how asking a girl to wait for you is fucked up. It's not fair and it pretty much guarantees heartbreak. Damn it. Just give me a sign. What the fuck should I do?

I waited for a while; almost laughing at myself for thinking I'd get a sign.

Finally I fell asleep. I was sitting in the shop, with Pines as we waited to be let go for the night. We were talking shit about Garver and the way he was so stuck on his lady that he often skipped out on our poker games or the beer garden so he could write her an email instead. Pines turned to me and said, "He's a goner. Asshole is so head over heels for that girl he can't seem to see straight. I can't believe he asked her to wait for him." I shook my head. I saw way too many relationships end before they really even got started. Maybe Garver's would be different, but I wasn't sure.

Pines tossed something at Garver as he was staring off into space. "Wake up numb nuts. Quit dreaming about that girl of yours and get your head back to your work." The only thing giving away that he was just giving him shit was the small smile that he couldn't suppress. Garver turned around and gave him the bird.

"Fuck off. You wish you had a girl waiting for your stupid ass."

Pines shook his head. He was quiet for a minute while he thought of his response. It looked like there might be more to his warning than he would ever admit. I wasn't going to ask him because he'd just tell me to mind my own business and that I was his shrink. "You ever think what it might be like for her to be waiting on you? That shit isn't easy. I've got my mom and sister back at home and I'd never want to see them go through that. We gave up our right to know where we'll be months from now. We can't even promise them we'll be in this country. Can't make a promise to go home that doesn't run the risk of being yanked away. That shit just breaks them down."