City Lights

Chapter 22

I lay awake the rest of the night, thinking what could've been the reason behind all this secrecy.

The Anna I used to know would never hide anything from me, not this anyway.

What was up with her?
What was up with Tristan and her?
The last place I'd expect to see him was here. Yet again, he seems to be very unpredictable.

My mind wounded back to that night.
He said it was easy.
I was easy.
What did he even mean?

Did he find out what happened?
Did he knew my past?
Did he knew I killed them?

Has my past finally caught up with me?

I buried my face into my pillow and groaned.
I was beyond frustrated and confused.

Why won't either of them tell me what's going on?

I had so many theories, some silly and others downright confusing.
Maybe they were a thing once, considering both of them were rich and might've probably met up before, which was just an assumption of mine but then I also remembered that Anna was surprised to know that he knew her name and I would've known if it was an act, which it wasn't.
So they obviously mustn't know each other before, right?

I groaned again and furiously threw the pillow on the floor, hearing the sound of something falling with it as well.

I was getting more and more tangled in the mess in my head and nothing was helping.

Sleep would've helped but today seemed like a sleepless night and I'd rather have nightmares than the thoughts I was having.

If he had somehow managed to figure out my past, does that mean he'd come to warn Anna?
That seemed to be it.
That must be why Anna seemed so afraid.
Shit.
This shouldn't be happening.
I couldn't be losing the only person who mattered to me.
Not again.
I'd lost enough for a lifelong.

All this thinking was making me hungry but I couldn't eat with the thought that somehow, someone had been able to figure it out so easily.

I'd tried so hard to forget it.
Everything.

Somehow, even after all this chaos in my mind, I managed to finally close my eyes around the early hours of the morning, losing my mind back to those dreadful dreams.

I woke up screaming.
It wasn't the same dream.
This time, it was more dreadful.
This time, everyone knew what I did.
I saw it.
I saw it all with my eyes, how they held that hatred for me.

He'd looked at me with such victory in his eyes, as if telling me how much control and power he possessed.
Tristan.
And then I saw others as well.
Anna.
Arthur.
Jane.
Ari.
Every other face I'd seen and encountered.
All of them looking at me with expressions full of disgust.

Disgust.
That is how I should I feel about myself, especially after what I did to them.

They deserved everything.
So much more than what they had.

It reminded me of why I'd decided to never get attached again.

That was the thing about me, I destroyed everyone I love.

I must've been staring at the clock for a long time to realize that all my screaming had woken up Anna, who now stood before me wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a white shirt, her hair held on top of her head in a messy bun and her eyes showed her worry clearly.

"I heard you scream" she said, hearing my barely audible sign.

"What does it matter anymore?" I mumbled. I didn't had the strength in me to keep on pretending that I'd be fine when she leaves.

Why show me that she cares when she knows just how disgusting I am.

"What do you mean? Obviously you matter to me." she said and started to make her way towards me, taking cautious steps towards me, almost as if worried that I'd kill her like I did them.

"Don't" I said, my voice stronger than I felt. Everything that'd mattered to me was breaking and I could no longer dare to meet her eyes.

She stopped in her tracks, obviously sensing my anxiousness.

"Renee..?" She whisper questioned and I shook my head.

I couldn't handle looking at her.
I couldn't make my eyes meet her's.
Not after knowing that she knew exactly what I'd done.

She started to move forward again and immediately I shot up from my bed.

Her eyes were evident with worry but I couldn't understand why.
Why would she be worried for me when all she should be worrying about is herself with a person like me?

"Why?" I whispered.
Why is this happening with me, I wanted to ask but didn't.

And as If she remembered something, her eyes shined brightly in understanding and then she said "You saw Tristan today? Didn't you?"

My eyes widened when I recalled the past events and not having the strength in myself to deny or pretend that I didn't, I looked down at the floor and as if that was answer enough for her, she started to move back and then before closing the door, I heard her mumble an apology, leaving me in an even greater dilemma.

I updated soon, so shots to that, yay.
Lame yea.

So anyways, I updated because I'd been shit slow recently and this is my way of making up for it. :3

Keep them votes and comments raining.
Do share as well ._.
Thanks, bye