Emotions // C.H

Tear

FLEUR

Mum tells me I worry too much. Every time I tell her my worries about a particular subject, she'll shut them down as "unnecessary" or "ridiculous". For a while, until I was about 13, I believed her and thought that I was being silly. But as I grew to 16, I realised that that is how most humans get around in this generation; they bottle up their emotions and expect others to do the same, so that everyone is a numb and will easily follow the rules without questioning anything.

"Hey mum." I say loudly as I hear the front door open and close. I'm currently sitting on the couch watching Scream Queens on TV, which is probably the best TV series I've watched, ever. It's so dramatic and scary but also really funny. It messes with my brain.

"Hey sweetie. Um, what did you do all day?" She asked as I see her walk into the living room and placing her bags down by the kitchen.

"Well, I saw Calum Hood post a depressing tweet, so mainly crying and being upset for the whole day." I say.

"Why do you worry so much about that silly boy, Fleur? You'll get over him and find a better guy one day. Just wait." She laughs evilly.

"Mum, Calum Hood is an important person in my life. He taught me so many things and to see him upset and depressed like this was like that time you lured our cat into the pool and I couldn't stop crying." I argue, turning toward her to see an unpleasant, ashamed look on her face.

She simply huffed and walked into the kitchen, starting to prepare dinner. I didn't even bother ask what we were having, as it was the same every night. Steamed vegetables and meat. I just ignored her and turned back to the TV to see that the episode had finished. Well that sucks. Now I just have to wait another few weeks until the next episode comes out.

-

After I had finished my dinner, which was surrounded with awkward silence from both mum and I, I washed my plate and headed straight to my room. I was contemplating whether to take a shower or check Twitter again. Showers keep you clean, but Calum Hood needs comforting.

I chose the latter, logging into Twitter for the second time today. I head straight to Calum's page, searching for the tweet to notice it was no longer there. It was instead replaced with a picture of a smiling goat and the caption "me.". I found it particularly interesting and suspicious considering most people know about his stress.

As there was nothing left to discover or think about, I grabbed my pyjamas from the end of my bed and walked into my bathroom to clear my crowded brain and take a shower.

Once I left my shower, gotten dressed and brushed my teeth, I flicked off my lights, closed my door and ran into my bed. I hate being alone in the dark. It's weird.

And as I lay in the darkness with my thoughts and silence, I couldn't stop thinking about Calum. Not anything in particular, just him. His personality, his body, his hair, his voice and his smile. I can't understand why he is so sad. There are so many amazing qualities about him. The way he is so kind and caring towards his fans and puts all his emotion and passion into the songs he writes. The way he laughs so deeply but with pure happiness, or when he smiles and crinkles appear around his eyes.

Shame we don't see that anymore.

And with a single warm tear slipping down my cheek, the dying world that we live in fades to black, and turns into much more vibrant images created in my brain.

****
THAT ENDING DOE LIKE UM HELL YEAH BITCH
so um I kind of want Friday to come by quicker so the real stuff can happen. And just for the record, this isn't going to be a "girl meets boy and starts hanging out all of a sudden and starts dating and fall in love and the end" book. It's going to be a real-life scenario book. Idk I guess dating Calum isn't really real-life but let's just pretend :-)))))))

SONGS OF THE CHAPTER:
I Found - Amber Run
FOOLS - Troye Sivan
Hurricane - Halsey