You're crashing but you're no wave

Temper tantrums

He was undoubtedly flirting with me especially since he obviously knows I'm gay. I got us mexican food and headed back to the apartment. It was actually late-ish. The kinda late you'd feel as a middle schooler or maybe a few high schoolers. It was ten, and when I got in Pete was no longer on the sofa. I panicked for a second before I noticed him on the breakfast bar.

I rested the bags of food on the counter beside him and saw him angrily glaring at a piece of paper.

"Wassup?" I acted as if nothing happened earlier but then noticed the court's logo in the corner of the letter. "Pete..." I asked more concerned but with caution.

"Why did you not tell me this?" He asked obviously agitated as he slammed the letter down my way. I read parts of it and figured out what it was about. It was the final warning of my job termination if I fail the job.

"Pete I-"

"When you said serious shit, I would not think they threaten your life and all your possessions!" He had raised from his chair in anger and was pacing around the room yelling. Meanwhile I had sunk into the seat feeling guilty and listening to his voice raise and hands fly around in anger.

"I didn't think it was worse than my shit but in a way it is. YOU'RE INNOCENT BUT IF YOU FUCK UP THEY'RE EITHER THROWING YOU IN JAIL FOR YOUR LIFE OR KILLING YOU! AND WHAT THE FUCK FOR?!" He snatched the paper out of my hands and found the words he was looking for quickly. "Fucking, FEAR OF PERVERTING THE COURSE OF JUSTICE! BULLSHIT! You don't die for that fucking shit YOU'RE FUCKING INNOCENT!" He threw the paper with such force I wouldn't have thought something so light could be thrown at, then tossed one of the plates to the floor that had been on the counter side.

As the ceramic shattered, I clenched my eyes shut and kept them that way as tears began to fall. I cried silently, not wanting Pete to notice. But silent crying led to my whole body shaking violently. I heard Pete sigh and thought he was leaving like my Mum would've but then felt arms wrap around my shoulders and down my back. I let my cries be heard and fell into his chest, soaking it with tears. He held me tighter and once I could hear things over my own tears he finally spoke, and in the nicest, most calm tone he ever had in my presence.

"I didn't mean to get so mad, and it was not at you okay? It was at them because you don't deserve this, not at all."

"But you're right! It's not fair!" I spluttered and he rubbed my back. "Plus I have to buy a new fucking plate now." We both laughed despite how weak they sounded.

"Nah I think you've got enough Mr. expensive." I looked at his silly grin and comforting eyes. I felt like I could kiss him and thought I was imaging watching him move closer. Oh my god, oh god I uh.... But... I started to panic when it was real and before he reached me I very quickly sputtered out anything.

"I need to go to the bathroom..." He moved back kinda confused but began to move away none the less. "Cuz you know I uh... Need tissues and stuff for the tears."

"Y-yeah okay, of course. I'll uh, clean this mess I've made up so you can just go to sleep after."

"Thanks Pete." I said as I headed for the bathroom door.

For fucks sake. No wonder I'm still a fucking virgin. I stared myself down in that god forsaken mirror that showed me in all my fatness back. I'm most likely still a virgin because who wants to fuck this fat little faggot's ass. I walked back out with a nice load of self hate on my conscious and went straight to bed.

We had a normal morning despite the fact that Gerard and Frank would be in court today. I was worried about how harsh I was going to have to be on Pete but hopefully he understood. He acted kinda nice on the car journey but i could tell he was angry and bitter.