Held Tight by Someone I Know

Chapter 26: 6 Days left...

[A/N: The picture above is Neo. Just minus half the hair as she has a shaven side. Oh, btw. Make sure you're stocked with tissues on this chapter...]

~Neo's P.O.V~
I sprang upwards, awakened by my startlingly vicious dream.

A dream. That's all it was...But, it felt so real.

I dreamt I was being raped senseless by Christian. Christian of all people. It's like I was fading in and out of consciousness as he did so. Like he drugged me and I woke up some during it, drifting back into my sedated dream not a moment afterwards. I chuckled at my stupidity as I knew christian wasn't that kind of person.

All a silly, but surely scary dream.

I wiped the excess beads of sweat from my forehead, leaving a spot of wet on the back of my hand.
My heart rate slowed down some as my nerve system and my vision came up to speed with rest of body.

Although, in this case, I wish it hadn't. I wished my eyes failed to generate vision and leave me blind and defenceless, more so than I was now.
I wished my nerves stopped working so I couldn't feel what I caressed in between my finger tips, the brittle bed sheets I became to know so well, the paper pillow case thrown around onto the damaged and shabby mattress that held me. My body.

My body. My body. Me. Me. Me. Me. All me. Me, myself and I.

Naked.

In Christian's bed.

Christian's.

Christian's.

God help me.

I guess god wasn't so forgiving in this manner of situation. I'm sure god couldn't give two fucks whether or not I was in a monster's bed who spent god knows how long thrusting against me.

Me...

I didn't have one ounce of dignity left in me. I felt embarrassed. Violated. Vulnerable. I felt like the time I was six. Walking through the park, Vivian angrily pulling me by the arm back home, telling me I was an embarrassing child because a boy dacked me on the monkey-bars.
But, it felt even worse than the time I got dacked on the monkey-bars. Much worse.

I didn't know what to do. I had no idea what to do. My mind was filled with regret and hurt and violation.
Hot tears fell from my eyes and onto the bedsheets, creating tiny little dark patches where they landed in minuscule cannon balls.

A few tears turned into a heap, a heap turned into sobs and the sobs, sure enough, turned into screams.
I screamed bloody murder. So loud. Yet, so fucking quiet. I felt as though I was straining my voice to breaking point, nearly shattering windows and glasses, yet I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't see behind the masquerade of tears and my ears rung out like a white noise. An incomprehensible sound that only I could hear. So high-pitched, it was Inaudible to anyone else. That is what it felt like.

I rocked back in forth as I screamed and cried. I must've looked like a real loon, but I didn't care. I couldn't. How could I after this. Nothing mattered anymore.

I want daddy...

I want my daddy...

"Daddy!" I screamed in between my sobs. I heaved in and out, as I continued screaming the one thing I desired most. Who I needed more than anyone.

"Daddy!" I screamed this two-syllable word like he would randomly jump out of nowhere and comfort me like he always did. He wasn't here now. He wasn't here to rescue me like he did so well, so many times. He was a real king. He was my daddy wolf and I was his pup. His little cub.