Held Tight by Someone I Know

Chapter 31: Hold me down, Throw me in the deep end, watch me drown...

Second last chapter!! Whoop! I want to do a writer's Q & A at the end of the book. So, leave your questions about the story or how I wrote out the story in le comments and I will make a page on it at the very very end. Enjoy this extra long, emotional chapter!

-Tessa

No words. No goddamn words can describe this - this...feeling. No, that is so highly underestimated. This - void. This confusion. This lack of tranquility and redemption.
Who was I? Was that even the appropriate question to ask in this divergent situation?
Why wouldn't it be? Asking yourself a simple question isn't taboo, is it? Is it not? Especially a question so simple as...'Who was I?'...
It's irrelevant to some people. People leave it be as it is, walking away as it was. Not even thinking twice of what it could be.
Am I one of those people? Surely not. But, there's always that miniature echo in the back of your brain, taunting you to stay where you are and stay stationary. Surely that wasn't who I was.

Of course, this all came from the mere simplistic speech of Who was I. Maybe that's what people always ask themselves in this type of situation. Is it common? Uncommon? Undeserved? Outdated? Unreliable?
But, as the saying goes...Curiosity Killed the Cat. Or maybe it was the dog, or the rabbit, or the mouse. Why can't it be the dog or mouse? Why not both? Why must it be a cat? Dogs and mice can be curious too, Y'know. That's how mice die. They get their microscopic necks crushed because they got curious on what type of cheese a trap withstood.
Maybe a nice, vintage cheddar? Or a creamy Edam? Maybe a delectable feta? Or a scrumptious Havarti, upholstered in a fine, red wax. 
Perhaps it didn't care one smidgen of a bit what type of cheese it was, if only it could get its tiny paws around it.

So close, yet so far.

You ever heard that saying? As quiet as a mouse? How could you forget, 'As stealthy as a mouse'? Or 'As dimwitted as a house pest'? Maybe 'As quiet as a mouse' was aimed towards learning toddlers, or maybe mice are loud as can be? How do we know they're quiet? Maybe our hearing is fucked all to hell. Maybe their footsteps are as loud as a gunshot, but we only get a white noise compared to how tiny their paws are...

I guess it's more detailed than 'Who was I?', but I suppose Who Was I held a more indescribable answer. Maybe we should work out the answer to that question before we worry about how loud a mice's foot actually is.

Drone...

I am a human drone.

You. Are a drone.

What does the colour blue taste like?

You...

Is water actually clear? Or do our eyes wash out the fantastic colour it really holds?

...Are...

What's water even taste like?

...A...

How did we come to decide which direction was left, and which was right?

...Drone.

Silence.

Nothing.

Except the pitter patter of feet.

Whose feet?

Why would there be feet pitter pattering?
Is there someone here? What's going on.

Pitter Patter

Jesus H. Christ, who's feet were they?

I looked down and noticed they were my feet.

Oh.