Recovery (Book 2)

Surprise Surprise

WARNING!! Some of the shit I say (could) be triggering to some people
Texts above are from Ella.
If you can't read them, I'll type them out below.

6/1/2016

Sorry if my updates aren't as frequent as they used to be.

I don't really see why I bother trying.

I relapsed. Again. 0 days clean.

To be honest, I don't really care anymore.

My mum is a living hell. Demon. Satan spawn.

No, she isn't satan. I'm Satan. Satan was my nickname at my old school, well, new school.

It's kinda confusing when I say new and old school.

I think I'll just make a list of my schools so everyone gets the idea of what shit I'm talking about, because even I'm confusing myself.

2006: OWH Primary School (No Grade- my birthday is in October and grading starts at the beginning of each year, so I wasn't placed in a grade till 2007)
2007: OWH Primary School (First Grade)
2008: OWH Primary School (Second Grade)
2009: OWH Primary School (Third Grade)
2010: OWH Primary School (Forth Grade)
2011: OWH Primary School (Fifth Grade)
2012: OWH Primary School (Sixth Grade)
2013: OC College (Seventh Grade)
2014: THS High School (Ninth Grade- this is when I skipped eighth)
2015: THS High School (Tenth Grade)
2016: OC College (Tenth Grade- I decided to repeat tenth grade because I skipped eighth grade and I want to get into university, I feel if I stay in school longer I have a higher chance of a scholar ship)

OC College is up in Auckland. THS and OWH are near National Park, where I currently live.

I lived in Auckland for a year, until my mother did a runner from a dad, dragging me and my sister through the dirt with her, but that's a story for another time.

Like seriously, I could write a freaking novel about the shit my mum does.

Today my mum woke me up and said that we were gonna stay at my Nana Billy's place for a few nights. My Nana Billy is my Mum's nana, making her my Great Grandmother. But I call her Nana Billy. Her name is Elizabeth, but her parents thought they were having a boy so her dad nicknamed her Billy, and it's stuck.

We went into town, when I got a text from Ella, saying she was in town. So I texted her and we agreed to meet up down at the skatepark, which is right next to the playground with the giant fake train which she got stuck in.

My mum met up with us, bringing our Nana Karen with her. Nana Karen is my actual nana, my mums mum. But I just call her nana.

My mum said she was going out for the evening with her "friends" and that'd we'd be staying with her mum till she got back.

Even though she said today she was gonna hang out with me and my sister. And that we were going to Nana Billy's.

Now it's past 9:30pm, and she isn't here -_-

I've honestly lost all trust in her. My sister was crying before because she wanted mum to be here.

My mum wonders why I get mad at her.

I feel like I'm not in control of myself anymore.

I needed to cut.

But of course, my blade stash was at home.

I threw my blades out on the 29th of last month.

Massey's birthday was that day.

I didn't get to see Massey on his birthday, I haven't seen him since we all last hung out in town, which was like 3 weeks ago. Which isn't a lot, but it feels like ages.