Recovery (Book 2)

Tired

27/1/2016

Relapse.

Stay clean.

Relapse.

Stay clean.

Relapse.

Stay clean.

One giant repeat cycle for me.

Relapsed today, 8 cuts on my leg.

Liam was telling me about kids at the school.

Once when I was hanging out with him, we met up with this girl called Elizabeth. Her dad had died in a car crash a week earlier.

Sometimes the happiest people are the saddest. Me and her were hyper and happy af, there was Liam and two other kids there. No one knows I cut. Liam had told me Elizabeth had been cutting since her dad had died, a coping mechanism.

I met her about half a year ago.

Liam was telling me about people, and mentioned her.

"Oh yeah, I remember her." I said.

"Yeah, she's the cutter." Liam said.

He didn't get how that offended me. I don't even know how it offended me. Just having someone remembered by the fact that they cut instead of their personality.

Liam is reasonably understanding of her cutting. He doesn't know I cut of course, but here's what he said.

"I kind of understand it in a way. I mean her dad died, and she said once she started she couldn't stop. It's just stupid though that someone would try and hurt themselves."

That's what he said. Liam gets bullied, mainly people accusing him of being gay. He is not gay. I know that. I'm his best friend. He tells me about girls he likes all the time.

Everyone thinks he's gay because his best friend is a girl (me) and he hangs out with girls more than guys. Just because Liam had better luck with girls doesn't mean they have to hate on him for it.

Semi nervous for school. I'm excited, which says something seeing as I used to be so scared of going to school I'd fake being sick or I'd hide in the toilets.

Considering I went to a city school when I was 11, I know what they're like. I was different. I wasn't girly, I was tough. I got picked on, but kids were scared of me. After seeing me and the boys play-fighting, they knew not to mess with me too much. (Me, Liam, this boy Jordan and Max used to wrestle under the desks during the class. We were very mature)

I don't wanna be walked all over like I did last year. Smart ass attitude, apparently scary persona (Liam said piercings are considered tough at the school) and a pretty good swing. I hate resorting to violence, and I won't. But intimidation seems to work well.

Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm looking forward to this year of school.