Fallen

Chapter 1

  I picked up my luggage and looked at myself in the long mirror that stood in the corner of my room. My shirt had fallen off of my shoulder revealing the secret I've spent so many precious moments trying to hide. I looked at myself with the bruise and squinted my eyes in confusion. What had happened for me to deserve this? Why was I in this position? I grabbed the edge of my white shirt and pulled it back to its original space making sure that it wouldn't fall over again. I took one last look at the room I spent all of my previous summers in. My pink walls were fading and so was the girl that was in all of those pictures scattered across my walls. I needed this vacation. I needed to get away from everything terrible in my life. I needed to spend some time with my best friends and only them. And to be honest, this was the most thrilling experience that I was going to encounter for a very long time. But why did it feel like i was betraying him? He's the one that hurt me so many times. Maybe it's because I know he doesn't like my friends. I know that he feels threatened by them. But for once in my entire 18 years of existence I was going to be doing something to please myself and not everyone else around me. I closed my eyes and told myself to walk downstairs and put my things in the trunk of my mom's car. I told myself to push him as far out of mind as I possibly could. To not think or talk to him unless he came running back to me. I wasn't going to be a pushover anymore. My backbone was finally starting to develop and with the help of my friends I know it would become real and not disappear again. 

I walked downstairs with a piece of luggage in both hands and my backpack on my shoulders. As I came to the last step I could see my mom smiling, her lips spreading from ear to ear. Nothing made her happier than when I spent time with them. They kept me grounded, kept a good head on my shoulders. And according to her, I did the same for them.  

"Sophie, hunny let me help you with that!" She said as she grabbed a suitcase from my hands and ran off to go pack it in the car. I followed her outside, making sure I copied the exact procedure for the packing so I didn't get yelled at. My mom had OCD and if I hadn't put everything in order and have it look perfect, I'd be standing here for 3 hours watching her re-arrange stuff and end up missing my flight. Sometimes I envied her OCD, the way everything was perfect when it was in her hands. As if it were almost safer than if in mine. I always procrastinated, saved everything for the last minute. Whether it was cleaning my room or the 7 page essay that was due Monday morning, I never did it when I was told to. 

"I'm gonna miss you so much sweetie." My mom said as her hand gently caressed my face. She was genuinely happy for me and I could see it in her smile. But her eyes were sad. She didn't want to see her 18 year old daughter leaving the country to go see the world. She wanted me safe with her in the arms of Stratford. But I couldn't stay little forever. I needed to get out of Canada, I needed to go explore everything and be on my own for a few months. 

I smiled back at her, "I'm going to miss you too Mom. So much and I promise I'm going to call everyday." I gave her a reassuring hug and asked her if Brandon was going to come say goodbye. Brandon was my little brat of a brother. Being 14 is too cool for him to handle. Between the cursing and the partying it's like my old little brother is gone. All he does is sleep and "hook up" with girls. He thinks he's a little player but I can guarantee players don't still sleep with a night light on. Within a minute Brandon was walking outside with my mom. He came outside shirtless and a snapback on backwards. I thought that he was starting to become like my friends a little too much and then laughed to myself because it was all too true. 

"Well I'll see you back in September." Brandon said. He didn't show any saddness and he didn't have to. No matter what he said, I knew he was going to miss me. I wasn't going to be home anymore to give him advice on his girlfriend of the week and stick up for him in the fights with our mom. He didn't have to portray anything for me to know that he didn't want me to leave, it was my big sisterly instinct to know it myself. I looked over towards my mom who wasn't too pleased with his goodbye. 

"Mom can I have a moment with Brandon please?" As soon as I was finished talking she put her hands up in surrender and walked back into the house. 

"Listen Brandon-" 

"Dont say anything because I dont want to hear it." He spat. But before I could get a word in, he continued. "You're leaving us, just like Dad did. I thought you were better than that. I thought I could trust you. I actually came to you for shit and you're leaving me and mom. You're lucky enough that I even came out here." 

"Brandon, stop. I'm not leaving you. I'm going to the United States to be with my friends for the summer and then I'm coming back. Just because Dad said he was going to the US and didn't come back doesn't mean I'm going to too. I would never leave you or mom. I love you both and you know that." I took him into a head lock, tore off his hat and scruffed his hair up a little bit just to get him angry.

"Hey! Stop it!" He pulled away from my grip. "I don't want you to leave." He said shyly as he looked down toward the concrete. 

"Look at me." I demanded. And when he faced the other way, I spoke sternly again. "Brandon, look at me." His eyes finally made contact with mine and I knew that it was giving him actual pain to see me leave. "I WILL be back okay? I'm going to call you everyday and text you non stop to remind you that I'm coming home at the end of the summer. I'm no anything like Dad. Maybe Mom will even let you come visit everyone for a couple weeks." Brandon smiled at the thought of that idea. And nodded along like he finally gave me permission to leave the country. I pulled him into a tight hug. "I love you." His arms wrapped around me as he said I love you too back. 

I watched as Brandon went back into the house and waved goodbye from the living room window. I waved back as I took one last look at my house. As everything rolled past my car window, I stopped to look at how beautiful my town actually was. I never admired anything here and it kinda sucks that it took me leaving to finally realize it. 

The ride to the airport came was too suddenly. I hopped out of the passenger seat and helped my mom unload all of my belongings. As we got them onto the sidewalk and weighed, we talked like we haven't talked in years. It felt good to know that my mom still knew how to laugh. Ever since my Dad left us a couple years ago she hasn't been the same but now she's starting to show her true colors again. After everything was said and done I observed her walk back to her car and lean gently on the passenger side. I waved half heartedly and half smiled as the old part of my life came to an end. She ran up to me and hugged me one last time.

"I love you so much sweetie!" She said after she kissed me on the cheek.

"I love you too Mom." I said kissig her back.

I walked towards the automatic opening doors as I heard my mom say,

"Tell Mr. Bieber I miss him."

I chuckled to myself, turned around and yelled back to her, "Will do."