If The Avengers Were My Teachers

Asguardian English

This chap is with Thor in it...haven't updated ANYTHING in freaking years because I've been battling my mom for the internet rights at our house. If it's not funny, well...it IS one o clock on the am right now...and she's totally killed my inspire. Anyways...dedicated to 4Lady_Loki_Laufeyson for the Loki idea.

AVASAVASAVASAVASAV AVASAVASAVASAVASAVAVASAVASAVASAVASAV AVASAVAS

Ari: *checks schedule* Okay, so...up next...English with Mr Blake...or so he says.

Carmen: Ya mean goldilocks guy with the huge muscles? The one that talks like King Arthur?

Ari: Yup. That's the one. His class should be about...here.

Carmen: ...Am I the only one that notices the door is painted like a giant rainbow?

Ari: I'm surprised you noticed at all...

Carmen: That's just downright fruity...

*walks in*

Carmen: Why is everybody dressed like we're at some kinda lame medieval fair?

Boy: The teacher made us...said it made him feel like they were at home...

Air: Where's the teacher? All I see is that buff lady over there next to the desk.

Thor: Good day! Good morrow! Salutations! Harken to thee, young quims!

Ari: Oh ISH that's a man! Ever heard of Great Clips? That look went out in the eighties!

Carmen: WTFUDGE DID HE JUST SAY....

Ari: I think he said 'hi'...

Thor: But where are your helmets?

Ari: Helmets? What...WHOA WHOA WHOA? This wasn't on my head when I walked in here!

Thor: Everyone wears helmets on Asguard! It helps if you are attacked by a ravenous bilge snipe! Now...onto the lesson! I am Mr Blake, your English teacher! I am a also the God of Thun-

Loki: You're not supposed to mention that, you oaf!

Thor: Apologies, brother...uh, assistant.

Carmen: Who's the creepy dude in the corner?

Thor: kids, this is my...assistant, Mr. Loki. He will be helping me teach you as part of his prison sentence...er, graduation from...college?

Air: so that explains why he's chained to the floor?

Thor: Yes! Yes it does! Introduce yourself to the children, brother!

Loki: ....you will all serve me one day...

Thor: Isn't he wonderful? He's really excited to be here...

Loki: This building will burn, and you shall all kneel before me-

Thor: Yes, yes, we've all heard it before...

Loki: (*~*)

Thor: English! A wonderful and worthy subject!...We will begin by analyzing Shakespeare! IN THE PARK!!!

Ari: Ummm...we don't have a park. We're in high school.

Thor: Then we shall practice in the parking lot!

Carmen: scuse me, Mr Blake, I just gotta ask...how long did it take you to grow your hair?

Thor: Two hundred years!

Carmen: how'd you get it so shiny?

Thor: Sparkles from the rainbow bridge!

Carmen: Can you hook me up with some of that? I want people to see their faces in my head!

Loki: *face palm* You shame all warriors...

Thor: Who's talking, Frosty Snowman? Bet you daddy's prouder of me than you!

Loki: If only I had my staff!

Ari: Yo, Family Feud! Can we do some learning, please?

Carmen: Whataaaat...That assistant just got ho'ed!

Loki: HOW DARE YOU LITTLE HUMAN WHELP!

Carmen: Ah, NO! He's gonna make my hair super greasy...just like his!

Loki: YOU ARE ALL OF YOU BENEATH ME! THIS TASK IS FOR MONKEYS AND AND OAFS!

Ari: HELLO?! English?! Shakespeare?! Anybody!?

Thor: oh, yes! TO THE PARK!!!

Ari: Parking lot!

Thor: EVEN BETTER! Come, assistant! *yanks chain* Good evil warlord!

Loki: I will...destroy you...and your precious poptarts, too...

Carmen: This class is funny! All we need is Steve Harvey and a buzzer!

Ari: Quick! While no one's looking! Look for a huge hammer!

Carmen: Is this it?

Ari: YES! THAT'S IT! Mjulnir!

Carmen: Num-num? The hell?

Ari: Here, take a pic of me and the hammer! This is so awesome...

Carmen: It's all dark...here, let me move it into the light.

Ari: Don't be stupid, nobody can pick up that-

Carmen: *picks up hammer, lighting flashes* WHOA! Ari! TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF! EXCELSIOR! DEACTIVATE! STOP!

Ari: PUT IT DOWN!

*Carmen drops hammer* Let's just get out of here and pretend that NEVER HAPPENED!

Ari: But...but that...was amazing! Do you know what that means?

Carmen: Yeah, freak thunderstorms in our classroom! Mr Blake must be...a wizard!!!

Ari: .....Let's...just go....