“Turns out, the only reason why Selena’s even on this tour is because Justin ‘likes to hang out with her’. We all know the real reason is because Selena puts out.” Jennifer heard one of the female dancers whisper to another. This is my cue to leave Jennifer thought, and picked up her apple and water and went on the elevator, headed from the cafeteria to her room. She grabbed her phone from its charger and sat on her bed, taking another bite from the apple.
Finding nothing interesting on twitter, Jennifer pulled out her notebook and finished the poem she’d started earlier that week.
I see the scars
And I'm filled with regret.
How did I push myself this far?
Nobody even frets
Something inside Jennifer died when Jeremy died and she wasn’t herself anymore. She knew that, and everyone around her knew that. And nobody took the stand to help her. Her eyes caught sight of the barely-forming scars on her wrist, covered by the bracelets she wore.
I see the blood
Flowing from my wrist
It looks like a flood
Another cut, another twist
I think it went too deep
It won’t stop flowing
Every towel gets seeped
No amount of water, no amount of blowing
I start to feel dizzy
I instantly regret doing this
My vision’s getting a little fizzy
Whenever Jennifer would cut herself, that’s exactly how she felt, along with the helplessness of Jeremy’s death.
These are the consequences I faced
The scars on my wrist I traced
Memories of that day flood my mind
I just wanna cast them away and find
A state of happiness
Is that too much to ask?
These are the consequences I have faced
The scars on my wrist I continue to trace
The cuts on my heart
Slowly ripping completely apart
By the time Jennifer finished writing the last stanza, she has started crying. Her heart ached for Jeremy to hold her and tell her she was going to be okay. But of course, Jeremy would never do that again.
There are too many to count
From these experiences I found out
I'm worth the air I breathe
I deserve the happiness that you so speak
I'm losing the battle
I'm losing the war
Inside myself,
I'm getting torn
I'm losing the battle