You Don't Remember Me? (Destiel highschool AU)

Touch

Deans P.O.V

I am in bed. Trying to fall asleep but, much like any other night, all I can think about is when I was happy. I think the only time I have ever truly been happy was when I was in kindergarten with Castiel. I miss those days. Life was so easy. It was all so simple until I just stopped seeing him. I never did know what happened to him. He's always been in the back of my mind. But the best and worst part of it all is that Castiel has moved back to my school. I saw him with some girl showing him around a couple of months ago. One of the worst parts is that Cas doesn't look like he remembers me at all. That really hurts. How could he not remember me? Am I that irrelevant? Yes. I am.

I can see Castiel's face. When we were about 5 and playing in the sandbox. I loved playing with Cas. It was always the one thing I looked forward to every day. I remember the last time I saw him. We were in class together and he was looking at me weirdly all day, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. I was so scared and confused so I grabbed his face and kissed him right on the lips. Our teacher saw and yelled at us, I got suspended. I don't remember my parents caring. It was weird though because Cas didn't come for the next week. I got scared so I asked my teacher about it. She looked like she was sorry for Cas. Of course, I didn't realize that at the time but she said something about him having to move away I was only 5 so it didn't bother me for that long but I can't get Castiel out of my mind. Probably because he grew up to be fucking hot.

~~~~

I wake up and go to the bathroom. I walk past Sams room. It hasn't been touched since he died. I can't bring myself to go in. I can only just look at it without bursting into tears. He didn't deserve all of what happened to him. Especially because it was my fault just like everything is. I look in the mirror. I can't stand looking at myself. Mainly because I hate myself and I'm ugly inside and out.

I hate how empty and quiet my house is now. I feel like I don't have a home, just a house. My home was Sammy, my home has always been Sammy and I don't see myself finding a new home anytime soon. I hate this house. There're so many bad memories here that I don't think I can ever shake. Most of them include my dad. He's the reason I haven't come out to anyone, well that and it's not their fucking business. I sort of relate to my house, though. Empty, cold, sad, forgotten, irrelevant, dying from the inside out. Yeah, I think it's time to take my "happy pills"

I drive to school in the only thing that's going well for me in my life. I sit down in my first lesson and this group of girls is staring at me. For fuck's sake, I know what this is about, it's about the same thing every fucking time. I get to sit next to Cas in English, that is one of the only upsides to my day. The girl walks over to my desk.

"Hey."

"Hi." I look up and say with a fake smile plastered on my face.

"I'm so sorry to ask you-"

"If you're so sorry, then don't ask me." I say looking her straight in the eye. I to do that to confuse people.

"Ummm, yeah, well, um, anyway, I heard your brother died and I'm so sorry. God, I know how that must feel."

"Oh, you know how that feels. You know how it feels to lose your brother, your best friend and pretty much the only thing good in your life. You know what that's like.To lose all of those people all at once. You know what it's like  to have to watch your favorite person in the whole world to a slow and painful death." Her face went completely red. Good. That was my aim. Fuck this bitch thinking she can talk about Sam.

"Ummm, shit, sorry." She walks back to her seat with her friends and she looks embarrassed good.

This always happens to me. People always come up to me and ask me about Sam. No one knew him, no one really knows me well enough to talk to me about it. What gives them the fucking right. I hate people so much. I honestly don't know how I've been surviving without Sam. I miss him so much.

~English~

When I get into English. There he is. Sat there, just looking down at his desk and humming. I don't think anyone could quite understand greatly this irritates me. HE IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE THAT ADORABLE. FUCK I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE. I flop down onto my chair and make a pretty loud noise when I do. I realize, out of the corner of my eye, that Cas jumps in his seat. It wasn't that loud, was it? Maybe he's just really jumpy. I wonder why? Ok, I'm staring. I shouldn't be staring that's weird and creepy. I look to the front of the class at the board. My eyes trail up to the top of the whiteboard, where the clock is. ShIT. I've got to take my drugs. Fuck.... I'll try to be discrete. When I'm taking them with my water and I notice that Cas looks at me. What do I do? I have three choices here 1. I could be a massive fuck boy 2. I could pretend I don't see him looking at me or 3. I could talk to him like a normal fucking human. Ok, yeah I'm going to pretend I don't see him looking at me to avoid conversation.

~~~~

Later on in the lesson, our teacher mentions an 8-week group project about Shakespeare shit. Well, we have to choose 5 plays and put them all together to write one. We're like the bottom set so have fun marking that, bitch. Wait, Cas is so smart. How come he's in the bottom set? Oh shit, I hope that we don't have to choose pairs. I'll have to be with Crowly. I swear, he attaches himself to me like a fucking leech, he's so weird and annoying. I'm pretty sure he thinks he can be friends with me easier because I have no friends but, no. I have no friends because it's just high school, I don't see the big idea of being popular and having friends. It's all so pointless.

"Right, I would say that you can work with who you want to but, last time that happened Lilith punched Azazel in the face so I will be putting you into pairs."FUCK YEAH  

As she goes down the list I don't hear my name or Cas'.This worries me deeply.

"So Dean you'll be with-" Hoe don't do it "Castiel." Oh, my god.

Cas looks over to me with a completely straight face. He smiles.

"Hi, I'm Castiel but you can call me Cas." He says smiling.

Ok, what. One how the fuck is this bitch in school and smiling and two, he doesn't remember me? 

"Hi, I'm Dean." I have to pretend like I don't care like I don't know him either.

He comes over to sit at my desk and he's just talking and pointing at the piece of paper in front of us. But I'm not listening at all. I'm going over all of Cas' features. He's so..... beautiful.

"Ok, so everyone will have to do work outside of school so I think you guys need to probably start clearing your schedules." Well, it's pretty irrelevant to say now it's almost lunch you stupid cow.

"Ok, so here are the days I'm free and this is my number so call me whenever. I would sit and talk about it more but I have to go." He says putting on his trench coat and bag and leaving just like that.

His hands were so warm. I can't believe he gave me his number, shit I can't believe he touched me.