1 month, 30 long, painful days, 720 heart breaking hours, 43200 agonizing minutes, 2592000 excruciating seconds since you left.
I haven't been the same. I'm a completely different person. Everyone is still trying to help me out, offering to comfort me, someone to vent too. I think I come across as rude when I decline. As you know, your the only person I could talk to about things. I still do sometimes. Then I get called a freak by fans cause I visit you and sit there for hours just talking to you, your gravestone. I've been talking to Niall about a lot of things but some things I'd rather tell you.
People at school stare at me, my tear stained face. They judge me, they don't understand what I've been through. When I go places I get weird looks from complete strangers, I know I got weird looks before but they seem different. My friends try and cheer me up, do my hair and make up and tell me I look pretty again. It always makes me so angry. They don't get why, only you did. Do you remember that day you told me I was pretty and I told you I'd rather be called beautiful? You never told me I was pretty after that day, I was always beautiful in your eyes. Even with my stretch marks and my untoned stomach and thighs. It reminds me of Little Things, your deep, raspy voice.
So this is how I've been dealing with things, writing my thoughts in a journal. Writing stories about us, songs, poems, anything that comes to mind really. It helps me get things off my chest and it gives me something to do, to distract me. Every time I visit you I read you a piece of my work, it seemed appropriate since they are all about you.
***After this journal entry was written a teacher tried to take her journal from her. As she was quite protective of anything that had anything to do with Harold she reacted badly. As the teacher started using force, trying to snatch it, she raised a closed fist and hit the teacher across the face. She received a week of suspension for her actions. Her principal feels as though she should seek professional help.***
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Nobody could ever replace you; a Harry Styles fanfiction
Roman pour AdolescentsWhat would you do if one day the love of your life took their own life. Learn about the life Ella has after her fiance, green eyed, boyband member Harry Styles, takes his own. With the drama of his death how will Ella deal when she finds out she is...
