I sit there, on the pathetic excuse of a couch. Holding my knees and burying my face into them. I heavily breathed every time I heard the footsteps come closer to me, hesitating, then leaving me alone. Before they repeat ten minutes after.
We were poor. In a small apartment. The couch had stains from drinks spilling and the mold in the corners only made it worse. We were poor and unhealthy. And I don't understand why he is still here. This was all me.
Eren's family is rich. I'm inlove with Eren. And I knew at one point he loved me back. I was poor. From a poor family. His family disapproved me, and Eren left his family only running on my small paycheck.
I want him to love me again. I know every time he walks up he's going to the door to the far left of me, but he always goes back. I want to feel like I belong with him. But we have changed.
____(Eren)
I didn't understand every time I wanted to leave I feel back, shattered, fell apart. Maybe I felt pity for leaving her in this horrible apartment by herself, her crying and waiting everyday for me to come back. But I knew she knew I was trying to leave, and I hated myself for it. I can't be here anymore. In this city. In the apartment. Jobs were scarce here, unless I wanted to do black market, which I don't believe I have hit rock bottom yet.
Every time I saw her she was heavily breathing in the air between her body and her knees. She was sick. She's always been sick. Every since the mold grew, she was coughing and having a hard time breathing. She never smiles when she sees me. She tells me because it hurts, but I don't know if she means physically or mentally.
She never smiled when she saw me because it would remind her about when the world was ours. And that I was a young souls. In a huge and strange world, and we were on top. That's why I think she can't smile at me.
I don't think she understands that the only thing in life that kept me moving was her smiles. It lit up a room, and I mean it. If I came home from a horrible day at work, and she smiled all I wanted to do was go out and be with her.
I sat down at the island with the sideways stool and looked at her. She slowly left her knees and starred at me.
"If your gonna leave, I will let you go"
______
We met in highschool. We were the big high school sweethearts. The unexpected couple. The opposites. But we loved each other. Her beautiful hair always shined and her beautiful puppy like eyes I came to always zone into. I loved it all. I loved her.
One day in school, she didn't come. Which wasn't her, she was the student that never missed school.
After school was over I went to her house. I knocked, heard her breathing heavily. I instantly got protective and plowed the door down after a few hits in. I see her there with a knife stabbed into her hip and a large streak of blood on her forehead. My instant reaction was to knee next to her and try to comfort her. I picked her up bridal style and we went to the hospital.
That week she was asleep whenever I came. But one time, she woke up to tell me something.
Her mother was the attacker. She tried to kill her. Grazed her head with a bullet and impailed her with a kitchen knife. After that, I instantly took her into my own hands, letting her stay at my house.
After my parents knew she was a house of a regular money household, that hated her. They wanted her to be rich, which she nor I could offer to them. They told me if she doesn't go that they will arrest her for robbery, which they could do. With the money they could win any court trial.
So I left with her. I only took acouple thousand. Enough to rent an apartment for acouple months. We were happy then. We didn't care about our situation. Until I because greedy for the money. I know I messed up. And I knew I could never make up the years we fought over money. I didn't deserve her name my life. She was too perfect. And I was too greedy. I know I could never give her years back, the years with me. I could never go back to the highschool love. The only love we had right now was the love I felt sitting on this stool and hearing her say those simple and crushing words. It crushed me. It crushed me that she could handle it so easy, I was rather jealous. I could feel the tension as I stood up slowly.
"How sick are you" I asked.
"I'm not sick...?" She answered.
I raised an eyebrow and she sighed.
"Well it's started a year since that mold had effected me." She said and I nodded.
I honestly felt bad that I didn't care.
I got mad with myself as I rose and chucked an empty glass at the wall, leaving shards go everywhere and my clutching my fists together. She didn't flinch. Her body was worn and so she couldn't react the way people can. She then turned to me.
"That was the last of our glasses" she said sighing. I breathed heavily before speaking.
"I'm sorry, I'm just mad" I said sitting down next to her
"I'm sorry your mad at me" she said and I looked confused. I then snaked my arm around her waist, pretending I didn't feel her bones.
"What? No. I'm mad at myself. Not even close to being mad at you" I replied.
"Why are you mad at yourself?" She asked and I went silent for awhile before anwsering
"I'm mad at myself for being mad at you. I was being selfish. I was trying to leave because I didn't want to be here, and now I come to realization everything we don't want, we don't want together. And whatever we want we want together. " I said and she faced me.
"You haven't talked to be in weeks, months. Why now? Before you leave?" She answered and I quickly connected our lips. As if it was a beg. I didn't want her to think I was going anywhere without her now. And I made sure I came clear with her. After releasing I looked at her
"I'm not going anywhere without you. "
Hey guys!
When this is published. It would be my birthday. Not the 10th. The 9th. I was late at posting and I slept till four pm today so I was struggling. But I hope you like it.
I LOVE SUGGESTIONS YOU SHOULD TOTALLY GIVE ME ANOTHER
