Soapy

Please, Jamie

When Dawn's parents came back from their trip, I was told to go home. Dawn was worried they'd figure something out about us, and didn't want me to see them yell at her about the popcorn left on the floor and couch. I found Loki using one of my favorite shirts as a pillow, and an instant feeling of familiarity washed over me. Finally home.

Spending the morning with Dawn was nice. We played a lot of video games and kissed a whole lot. I would say I haven't been happier, but I know loving Jake made me happier. But that's over now... Dawn is my new chapter, I think. I hope. I wonder if my parents would be cool with it. I think they would, they're not too bad. Nothing like Dawn's parents at least. They're just down right horrible, but somehow raised a wonderful girl. Must have been a miracle.

I begin to unpack the bag I brought for my Jamie sleep over thing and think over how I'm going to cut ties with Jake. You see, the thing is, I think I stopped loving him a while ago. But since I loved him for so long, I tried to hold onto a dead relationship in hopes that it'd change. It didn't change, it got worse when he decided to rape me. Me, being the naive idiot I am, hated myself instead of him for what happened. I blamed myself for his actions, and I still kind of do but a lot less than I did before. The last two days have shown me that it wasn't my fault, he's an asshole, and I do not love him anymore. He's a parasite feeding off of my happiness and leaving negativity and I will not have it anymore.

Maybe I should ask Dawn how to break up with him. I imagine she has a lot of experience with breaking up with people... Does that mean she'd be the one to break up with me if we were to date? Just toss me away like she has her other girlfriends? Will I be added to her ex girlfriend list? How dare she even think about breaking up with me! 

Wait, wait. I'm being stupid. Back to Jake. I need to do it in person, in a crowded area, with back up. I still don't feel safe around him. I don't want to be afraid of him, he doesn't deserve to be one of my fears but I can't help it. He gets pissed when I don't text him back for a few hours, imagine how mad he'd be after me disappearing and then reappearing just to break up. I need protection and witnesses. What do I say? I've never broke up with someone before. I guess it's just one of those natural things that just kinda happen.

Kinda like how natural it felt being with Dawn. God, she really is just a great person. Thinking about her now just gives me all these gross bubbly feelings in my stomach, and I get this big stupid smile on my face and all I want to do is see her face and hear her laugh and twiddle her pink hair between my fingers. I'm so glad I met her.

"Yustina?" my mom says from the door.

"Yeah, mom?" I turn to her and try to hide  my happiness.

"Jamie's here to see you, she looks very worried. Can I let her in or are you still upset with her?"

Oh god. She's here. Good time to tell her everything I guess...

"She can come in," I tell her and sit on my bed, preparing for the explosion that is Jasmine.

She comes in and waits for my mom to close the door before she gets angry. Her nice long Indian hair is in a tight braid behind her and she wears a green sweater I bought her one Christmas with a nice black skirt. God, that sweater is awful. I'm surprised she still has it... and still wears it.

"Okay, what the hell? Do you mind explaining things to me because neither you or Jake are telling me anything and I've called and texted both of you a thousand times a neither picked up, and I knew you two have been hiding something from me for the longest and I will not stand being lied to by my two best friends any longer! I do not deserve all this bullshit secrecy, and-"

"Shut up, will you? I'll tell you everything. Just stop talking." I laugh a little, trying to make light of the situation.

"Well... alright then. I had a whole speech prepared but I didn't think it'd be this easy to convince you to open up to me." she stands awkwardly and plays with the end of her hair.