Our Winter Love (Harry AU)

Chapter 37: Our Mourning and Sadness

I roll over on my stretcher when I hear Megan sigh. I open up my eyes to see her laying on her back staring at the roof of the tent, her eyes are red.

That's when it hits me. Zayn's gone.

It wasn't just some nightmare or some drunken experience. Last night really happened and today will be extremely difficult for all of us.

"You okay?" I whisper to Megan.

"Hardly slept." She replies with a shaky voice, "You know Eddy and I were gonna go with them in that car...It could've been us Izzy."

"I know. We were all lucky, and so was Jody." Megan nods.

"I just can't believe it. Who would have thought this winter would turn out like this?" She says before sniffing and wiping her eyes.

"I know..." I get up and grab my bag of clothes,"I'm gonna go get ready then I'll see you at the lake house later okay?"

Megan nods and sits up as I exit the tent and walk to the bathrooms. Within a few minutes I'm standing in the shower letting the warm water beat down on my back.

I wonder how Harry slept last night or if he even slept? When we got back last night I walked around with him to calm him down before we went back to his tent where I made sure he went to his tent before coming back to my campsite and explaining to my parents what happened. They were shocked but relieved that the rest of us were okay.

I wash my hair and then get dressed into the clothes I'm wearing to Zayn's memorial. I exit the bathroom and head over to my parents car, grabbing my cellphone that I let charge the whole night before heading into the woods towards the treehouse.

I need to calm myself down before confronting all that I'll feel today. I just hope I'll make it through without breaking down.

I reach the treehouse and climb up the rope ladder quickly then climb inside to an empty space.

Leaning against the wall of the treehouse staring at the engraved initials of Harry and myself I clear my head. There is nothing more heart breaking in this world like the loss of someone you knew. I can't imagine how I would feel if I had to lose Harry. The thought is unbearable.

I take a deep breath before I feel my cell phone vibrate in my pocket. Probably another message from the phone company.

I slide the phone out my pocket and unlock the screen, then clicking on the message icon I see a name as if a ghost to me now. Zayn.

I stare at the screen in shock, unsure of wether I want to open the message or not. My heart speeds up and pulses through my whole body. Curiosity gets the better of me and I tap the message screen.

'I'm sorry.'

The two black words stand out on my white background and echo through my mind in Zayn's voice.

The first thought that pops into my mind is that he is still alive. How else could he have sent the message? But that's not possible, the paramedics confirmed he was dead, it was his car as well with Jody in it?

I scroll down to see that I was supposed to receive it last night about the time we arrived at the club but since my phone died, I didn't receive it while in town or when I was charging it in the car at our campsite.

But why did he send it? What exactly was he apologizing for?

A million questions spin around in my head at the possibilities.

I wonder at first if I should speak to Harry about it but after sitting in silence thinking through this winters events I realize that Zayn wasn't the bad guy. He was just an average guy.