Rage and Love

Rage and Love Chapter 4 <3 (Picture of Allison)

I didn't panic as the presence of my love still sent me to a dreamy world. Travis looked at me with his big dreamy eyes. The sad expresion that appeared on his face broke my heart. He was just adorable. His sandy hair was even in the spikes I grew to love. As cliche as it sounded, I reached out to touch the mirror. When my hand reached where his flawless face was, I felt nothing but glass. He took a deep breath.

"Listen Ash, I know things seem as if they were spiraling out of control. But listen to me. I made a promise I would protect you. So you need to listen. Go to school. Then go to my funeral. I know it's hard but you need to trust me, Baby Ashy. God has his plan all worked out. It may seem like he doesn't but he always does. People may not listen but he does. Believe me, we already talked it out." He said softly.

I closed my eyes expecting a kiss on the forehead like I always got after Travis talked to me softly. I stood there motionless waiting. Refusing to open my eyes, I reached for the mirror again. I couldn't help myself as I opened my eyes expecting to see Travis's lips against my forehead. But no. He was gone. I stood infront of the mirror like an idiot. Out of anger, I stook the candle sitting on the counter a chucked it at the mirror. Both the candle and mirror shattered as glass flew everywhere. A few shards hit me but I didn't care. That's how my heart felt.

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Sitting in my car in the school parking lot, I began to cry. Travis always picked me up from school. Why am I even here? I wondered. I told you to, darling. I sighed in frustration, wondering why every thought had to be answered by the Travis in my head. Everyone obviously was going to know about Travis. He was probably all over the news.Slowly, opening the door and getting out of my cheap Honda, I already saw the whispers and points. People were obviosly talking about me and how I'm dealing with my...loss. But then again, since when do I care about what people think of me? That was one thing Travis helped me with. I used to be afriad what other people would think of me. After explaining to me I shouldn't care in 8th grade, I began to think. What is up with the lables? Why do people have to be labled as "Popular guy" or "Loner girl" or "Emo chic". Did lables like that even matter? After remembering that conversation we had in the field in the summer right before 8th grade, I walked into my first period English. I groaned outloud noticing I didn't change, brush my hair, or even wash my face full of makeup ruining down my face. I was also barefoot. Well if anyone had a problem about how I was dressed, they could talk to me. Sitting in my seat with my chin resting on my hand, Allison walked by sitting in the seat behind me. She had a smirk on her face and i didn't like that. Ignoring it, I started peeling layers of my nails. It was the nasty habit I have done since 4th grade. As class started, I noticed everyone staring at me. I just kept looking down at my nails. As soon as the bell rang, I sprinted out of the class, to find a moment of some sort of peace. But as I was passing through the hallway I was stoped by Allison and her "lovely" friends, Jenny and Jessica.

"How are you doing , Miss Brookes?" She told me with an evil look.

After a long silent stare, I walked aside. Jessica stopped me.

"Have enough makeup on, Jessica?" I mumbled. She had the redest lipstick and eye lashes so long she looked like her eyes where buldging out. "You gonna name the baby Mac if it's a boy, or Maybelline if it's a girl?" I asked motioning her newest baby bump. This is the 3rd time she's been pregnant. What she did with the other babies is beyond my knowledge.

She scowled at me as I pushed her way through.

Allison turned around as I was walking the other way. "At least we all have a boyfriend..."

I stopped midway in my walk and turned around. I glared at her and noticed we were surrounded by people watching us. I took a deap breath to calm myself.