My heart has never beat so fast that it hurt out of love
Its always from being scared
Scared i will get beat up
I shake
My father is way bigger than me
In one hit i would be out cold
He wont ever leave me alone
Hes always lying to me
Making the doctors lie to me
He wont give me any space
I feel unsafe
Sometimes i feel wronged
I thought i was used to it
I cant even say how many tears ive wasted on this
Sometimes i wish i wouldnt go on
I would just go to sleep and never come back
All of this has happened sonce i was just a littlw innocent kid
Everything in my life is a mess
I try not to get him agry
But hes just like this
It cant be helped
I try so hard to please him and get out of the way
But nothing is good enough
I cant ever be alone
My world spins
The darkness surrounds me
I scream
I get so so so scared
He insults me daily
We get in fights daily
Every so often he will raise a fist to me
I cry myself to sleep
Im scared
I dont wanna be here anymore
I wanna escape
Theres no hope
Sometimes i wish i was brave enough to run away or do drugs just to be free
But i know thats a stupid idea so i wont and i never want to
I did escape once and it was hella scary
But i cant anymore
There are to many people watching my every action
I just wanna have a normal life
I wanna be left alone sometimes but i cant
Theres No light shining for me
No way i can get out of this
I feel worthless
Everyone is always ridiculing me
Idk wut to do anymore.......
I give up
But theres one thing that helps me escape for a little bit
Music
I can escape that way
Through music
It calms me down
Lets me know im ok when nothing in reality says it
It takes me to another world
Where everything is good
Where i dont feel worthless
Where i dont feel like giving up
It makes me feel more at ease
It lets me feel free even if its just for a short time
Music is my escape
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Sorry this isnt kpop related but i had to let my feelings out ....sorry again
