Dark Stars, Light Stars

Chapter 17 - I'm Just a Lost Boy

So what are you waiting for? Cause someone could love you more. I'm just a lost boy, lost boy. – Troye Sivan, Lost Boy

Justice

I lay there, motionless on the bed, trying to take everything in.

Riley's gone. He's really gone, and I can't even do anything about it. I can't cry, I can't talk, I can't scream. My head is sore from trying to force the tears out, and my throat is sore from trying to scream.

I lift my shaking hands to my head and take a deep breath. This isn't real. This place isn't real. The truth isn't real.

It can't be.

My Father a secret agent? What type of joke is this? It's impossible – he would have told me. I thought he would have told me. He's my dad . . . I trust him. Well, at least I thought he did.

And all of the information about Alistair and his parents? Now, he's just as broken as I am.

When the young girl, Abigail, was told to show us to our rooms, Alistair stiffened by my side and went pale. I think he was as scared as I was. She led us to the elevators situated at the end of a long hallway. The girl swiped a card that she had pulled out of her pocket into the slot on the side of the door, and I caught side of her ID.

Abigail Rosado. Did Alistair know her, or was it just a coincidence that they had the same name? Because I know for a fact that his name is as uncommon as mine. I've never met anybody but Alistair with that surname.

In the elevator, as we descended to the bottom floor of the DSL building, Alistair gripped my hand when Abigail flashed a sad smile. He didn't let go of my hand until we were each given separate rooms at the Agency's safe house. Now, he's just across the hall. If only I had the strength to get up, then I would be lying in his arms right now.

I stare at the ceiling, trying to decipher the pattern of stars that coat the dark paint. If only I had known about this Agency earlier, then maybe I could have protected Riley. I would have made sure that the attack on the school had never happened, and I could have prevented a broken heart.

Knocking sounds softly on my door. It's probably my Father, wanting to talk to me. I ignore it and roll over onto my side.

A few minutes later, the person knocks again. I groan and sit up on the bed.

'I don't want to talk to anyone – please go away.'

I hear somebody sigh on the other side of the door.

'It's me, Justice.'

Shit. It's Alistair. Shit shit shit.

I stand up hurriedly from the bed and pretty much run to the door. As I open it, I catch sight of a gun lying on the table next to the door. That will be useful for later on in life, but not now.

Alistair stands before me, his eyes a little red and his cheeks rosey. He's dressed in clothes given to him by Abigail – comfortable tracksuit pants and a grey top. She gave me the exact same set of clothes, and we look pretty messed up standing before each other. My hair is in a messy bun, while his dark curls are hanging over his forehead, brushing into his eye. I pull my hair out of the bun and run my finger through it – something I do when I'm in an uncomfortable situation.

'Alistair, are you okay?' I ask. He shakes his head and tears start to fall down his face. I immediately grab his hand and pull him into my room, looking to see if anybody is watching as I do.

I turn around and close the door, my back resting up against what I'm guessing is strong metal. Alistair just stands before me, more tears threatening to surface. I walk towards him in hurried steps and wrap my arms around his middle. Alistair rests his head atop of mind and wraps his arms around my shoulders. We stand there in silence for what seems like an eternity. I listen to the sound of his heartbeat. It's going ridiculously fast from all of the crying.