A/N:
Yay....just, yay. You all will love this.
June 13th, 2013
Journal,
I dreamed about her last night. Kara, I mean.
We were older. Settled. The world was beautiful. No more unnecessary death. No more shuffling horrors.
The screams of the dying were replaced by the excited, happy screams of children. Our children.
Two little girls, spitting images of their mother, ran through the large front yard of our cozy split level. They laughed, they squealed. It was the most beautiful sound.
I was sitting on a wrought iron bench in our yard, under a large willow, just watching them chase each other. Kara came out of the house carrying a tray with four cold glasses of lemonade. Her yellow sundress streamed behind her as she walked through the cool breeze to the bench.
"Abby, Darla!" She called to them. "Come, get your lemonade." They skipped over to us, happy smiles lighting up their already sweet faces.
"Mommy, Mama!" The oldest said excitedly.
"Yes Darla?"
"May we please go into the tree house to drink?" Darla's eyes were glistening with hope.
Kara placed a finger to her pursed lips, cocked her head and pretended to take a moment to think it over. By then both Darla and Abby were bouncing in excitement.
"Well.....I think, maybe if you're very, very careful then yes you may." She giggled as the girls screamed and ran toward the tree house. They stopped partway and Abby called back.
"Thank you, Mommy!"
"I still can't figure out how they stay so sweet and polite with you as a dad." Kara joked.
"Because they have someone as caring and beautiful as you."
"Oh hush." She said before growing serious. "Bruce."
"Yes love?" I asked, leaning into her.
"You can't leave."
"Who said anything about leaving?" I asked, confused.
She looked me hard in the eye. "You can't leave them."
It took a moment but I registered what she was saying. "I can't stay. It hurts. It kills me to be without you everyday."
"You'll never be without me. I'm here." She placed a soft, tiny palm on my temple then ran it down my cheek, wiping away the tears that I didn't notice had come and ended her path over my heart.
"This is real." She threw her arms out and gestured around her. "Have faith, keep living. Don't stop just for me. Someday you'll have a home, a life. You'll have children and someone who loves you. There won't be anymore terror, anymore lives cut too short. Just keep living, for me. Be happy. If not for yourself, then for what you'll have, in time."
I took a deep, shuddering breath before answering. "But I don't know how."
"Look inside yourself. Find who you used to be. Find a reason to live."
"You were my reason." I said, my voice thick.
"I still am. I'm still here Bruce. Don't forget that. Live for me." With her last words, the world around me shook. Everything grew wavy, rippled. My vision grew dark and the dream faded around me.
I sat up in bed, Kara's words echoing in my mind. I could still feel her touch. I ran a hand down my face, half expecting to feel her hand resting there. All I felt were the cold tears that were still on my cheeks.
