cat whiskers // phan.

Chapter 34

*some of this is written on my phone, which I don't normally use so sorry for typos and grammar mistakes*

I dash out of the car, forgetting to lock the door. He's more important. I practically sprint through the front garden, then the stairs to his floor. I take two, occasionally even three stairs at a time. I can't wait for him. My boy, I've been waiting so long for this moment.

I hastily knock on the blue door and instantly feel my excitement fit to burst. I hear his mum call to him that there's someone at the door and the chains on the other side of the door move around and the wooden door separating us is removed.

He looks as breath taking as ever.

"Howell.." Phil breaths.

Howell? He only ever calls people he really dislikes by their surname. And that's only one person. Steve.

"Phil" I smile, opening my arms for a hug. Phil's eyebrows furrow together and he seems deeply confused.

"What?" I question, offended.

"Why would I hug you? I left you..?" My heart plummets to the floor as I remember that dreadful day. He meant to leave me behind?

Coming to think of it, when I looked through the window of the plane, I did see a smiling boy looking up at me. Laughing at the young boy who couldn't board the plane.

This whole thing was a lie?

The next thing I know, the oak door had shut and I'm alone. I place my back to the door and slide down it, as my tears do the same down my face. I curl in a ball on the floor and I weep. I sob my heart out.

How stupid I was to think he loved me.
How stupid I was to think he cared.
How stupid I was to think he was there for me.
How stupid I was to fall for this gorgeous black haired, blue eyed boy.

Everything went dark and I was lost in my own thoughts, cascading into oblivion.

I bet a lot of me was lost, Ts uncrossed and Is undotted,
I fought it a lot and it seems a lot like flesh is all I got,
Not anymore, flesh out the door, swat,
I must've forgot, you can't trust me,
I'm open a moment and close when you show it,
Before you know it, I'm lost at sea,
And now that I write and think about it,
And the story unfolds,
You should take my life, you should take my soul.